I’ve finally found a few moments to grace you all with my blogging presence. In the past few years I have not been blogging as often, I’d apologize but, multitude of reasons as to why not, well you can blame the horses.
Its been on my mind lately how in the past few years I have been attempting to lead more of a minimalistic lifestyle. It has always been something that feels right to me and even is eluded in my art. Therefor I felt led to share more about this.
Last year something happened that spurred me even more to purge my house and belongings. It was more of a feeling of helpless in ability to control my surroundings with unintended $50,000 home renovations from hidden water damage.
Therefor in an effort to retain some sanity and not crawl into a dark emotional hole every day from the uphevel in every day life-I started selling things that use to be in the affected rooms (as I had no where else to put them even with a decently sized home and large garage space. Hey blame the horses, I need “farm” equipment)
After that I went through closets, then went through dressers…and repeat repeat repeat. Each time I went through something, even if I had done so already I found more things that no longer spoke to me or brought me joy. I sold three dressers from my bedrooms. I consolidated my closets and everything fits in there nicely now. See.
Yes, I have been in adult online for 9+ years now and this is all I own. This is it.
Now maybe some wonder what am I talking about “things” can not speak to you. Well, actually they can. (que maniacal laughter-jk) When you touch or see something you either are moved by how much you like it or well no reaction at all. I decided in my life I was only going to keep things that when I touched it, it made me happy. Or when I looked at it (art from a vacation or fun thrift store find) I was reminded of happiness and joy from an experience.
It is so so so SO hard when you are in web camming, female domination, stripping, porn etc to not accumulate everything off Amazons slutty section of their website. To think you can own 52 dildos made in China that leach their colors onto whatever they are sitting next too. To not make a wishlist and spend countless hours of your week and waking hours finding MORE MORE MORE things to add! Yay.
No. Not yay. I *almost* can’t imagine every bringing back my wishlist again. I *almost* can’t believe I spent that much time looking for STUFF.
Not to mention obsessively checking to see if something you need was purchased yet. -headdesk-
Now now, if you have ever bought me “stuff” please do not be offended. I do not think in the past 3-5 years I have really asked for anything that I did not really like A LOT. Or I also ask for a lot of horse related items, huge brownie points to those who purchase that because that truly makes a difference in my life.
That fishnet outfit $3 holla off Amazon that lasted me a few wears, nope it did not change my life. Sorry.
The lingerie I have now is beautiful, it fits me well, I love it. I love wearing it. So when I put it on for a clip or a cam session I’m COMFORTABLE and I feel attractive. I may repeat outfits or parts of outfits I piece together but I do not mind. A lot of items I had were so similar, I’m much happier with having less items and more variety.
I use the same purse every time I go somewhere. Actually it is more of a backpack type thing so I can be hands free. I do not need to advertise to anyone my wealth via items on my body. For really, wealth is peace of mind, ease of movement and internal happiness.
PS:I have the cutest little Kate Spade wallet a fan got me years ago that I still use and I love it. I smile when I pay for things. Literally. That is about as expensive as it gets for my day to day. What a lovely gift.
From here on out you will probably will not see me posting any “wishlist” thank you’s etc unless someone sent a gift card for you guessed it-horse related items. And damn I shall say I look good in breeches, boots and riding attire. So no one is loosing out there. I’ll leave my snobby bitchy feelings toward having the best riding stuff. That gives me a smile.
My focus now (and has been for awhile) is going to be on having experiences and adventures. Even if they happen just riding out on horseback on my property. Going to a blueberry farm and pcicking fruit. Drawing on a beach up north. Simple as that. As that simply brings me so much joy. I could be exhausted but the minute I step into that barn greeted with neighs I feel like I’m 10 and nothing else matters.
I wish everyone has something like that in life, if you don’t…find it.
I feel a bit of a removal from the overall #findom #femdom scene when I discuss this. But really…I must remind myself that looks different for everyone. My female domination is not someone else’s style-and that is what makes Me wonderful. I truly am ME.
So instead of collecting things I’m going to collect memories of places I want to visit, people I want to feel connected with and the things in my house that remain will be useful and beautiful. Merely because I love them.
The more I get rid of, the more weightless I feel. I move through my house freely, I clean effortlessly as items remain that are used. Not items that just get moved around.
I also apply these reasoning’s to my clips and art business. I take time to see what is no longer speaking to my brand or look and I remove it. Yes it could still make me money by leaving items up but the most ironic thing is, when I keep doing this (having less but making sure it’s more as in the best I have) I actually make more, have more interest and feel better overall by being appreciated by making sure I’m really LOVING what I’m doing/producing/saying.
Last year I removed most of what I guess one would call “vanilla” content from my stores. (I need to do another purge yet again this year) I was so nervous to remove those videos. I thought for sure I have less content up that will mean less interest etc. I was never so wrong. The more I just left up what was really me, the more interest and income I generated.
When you speak your truth, when you live your truth the universe can not do anything but align with this reality. I continue to create what is just right for me. I continue to evolve to be even better than I was before. In all aspects of life.
I’m so blessed to be where I’m. I believe in the power of being positive. Yes, I truly love being an online female dominatrix. That is why 9+ years later I’m still here. (And still do not own a Coach purse, BMW or loubiton (spelling? LOL) shoes.) I appreciate the continued support of my work, those who allow me to keep doing and exploring this realm of sexuality together.
As I say, the best is yet to come. Ciao babes and minions.
*DISCLAIMER: This blog is not to throw shade at others who live their life with things, maybe things make them happy I don’t know. This is about my own personal journey and not others situations.*