Category Archives: fetish

A “New” Kind of Femdom

Recently I’ve been thinking to myself… -oh danger danger-

That I know my love of femdom and domination probably does not come through on my twitter like most others who are in this field of interest.

I thought long and hard occasionally (is that an oxymoron?) about how I want to present who I’m and how that can affect what others interested in what I have to offer, could think as well. Not that I spend nights awake pondering this, at end of the day I’m a business and need to think like one when needed.

I decided awhile ago that I was not going to have that brat domme personality on my social media all the time. Because there are many other facets of myself as well, that are nice to share. My art, my love of my new horse Bella, my great interest in self sufficiency, gardening etc. Yes I sincerely enjoy domination, I enjoy acting like a brat (sometimes) and I enjoy so many different kinks and fetishes. This does not mean that is what I’m doing 24/7/365 although that seems like it would be fun. Potentially. Tiring. Invigorating? I don’t know.

I’m who I’am here. I’m thankful, I’m caring in my relationships. I like to cultivate them. Even if they are in a D/s manner. MistressT (https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet) is someone that I look up to in many ways for I see these same attributes in her. She has made female domination her way of life but still finds time to thank, spoil and appreciate those who made her so well sought after. But she certainly still knows how to put someone in their place if needed. I like that. Even a domme can have such charming attributes. She acknowledges that her skirting of hard core femdom (particularly findom is what I’ve read on her blog: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/) leaves her out of a great pay raise but the fact she is doing what she loves, her actions speak louder than her words.

I would like to think this is a “new” kind of female domination. Not one ruled by strict borders and walls. Of being mean to everyone all the time for fear that someone may not view one as being Dominant. One where we are all people looking for that special moment, relationship or feeling that helps us forget about everything else. If you’ve ever read any D/s books or about BDSM lifestyle, for a lot of people it’s a lot more to them than just a sexual experience. -I was going to say something about getting off but well, you know, a lot of you are not “allowed” to do so- *laughs*
The relationship and give and take, the scenes, the sessions it’s so much more than a sexual experience. It is a mental and physical one as well. Embracing all aspects really I believe makes for an exciting, rewarding and eye opening journey.

Quite a few times in the past few weeks I’ve been told how refreshing it is that I’m nice and so thankful for everything. That the extreme narcissism of others has turned them away from their interests in fetish until they found me. Because they didn’t want to be talked to like that all the time. It was nice to hear from these people. I can’t say I was shocked to hear these words, more I had a passing thought of “theory proven” although I had never really formulated the theory until it had been proven.Maybe how I’m isn’t exactly “new” but it seems to be a concept left out of female domination mostly. I can safely say I’m proud to be the white knight so to speak.

Here is an excerpt from a recent email:
Dear Miss Vikki Lynn, this is my first time contacting You. Sending this email makes me nervous as you’re the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. But I’m hitting send because you’re not like the others. I like that although you’re clearly dominant you also seem to have a genuine nice side and aren’t afraid of showing it. I can’t get into to most of femdom because much of it seems unnecessarily cruel. 

I was pleased to read this. I know it can take a lot of courage to contact someone you look up too. Thank you to those who do look up to me. Who take comfort in relaxing with what I have to offer in life. This gives purpose, meaning and a positive drive I do believe. Because what are we, if we are not human looking for that next moment of pleasure…be it physical, mental or spiritual.

If you are here, for one of those reasons or all three, welcome. I hope you enjoy all facets of Me.

Q/A!

QUESTIONS: kelly mackle @kellymackle Dec 22

@MissVikkiLynn What would you do if you were shrunk to doll size?
ANSWER: That makes me want to have an anxiety attack just thinking about it. I think submissive people are more into the shrinking fetish. I would just hope there was a doll house around for myself to utilize I guess. -shrugs-

Dating when you are an adult model …. :O

While talking with KittyWilde, AedanRayne and Lolli the other day on twitter the conversation was brought up to tell a person you are dating that you are in the adult industry and whatever comes along with that conversation…

Lots of people commented on this and I read a handful…I saw mostly non industry people saying to “tell them right away! why hide the truth!” “be honest and up front so you know they can handle it” “they may not trust you if you don’t tell them right away” and so on and so forth.

Then I saw a mixed review from some industry people but KittyWilde and Lolli came close to how I feel on this subject. And yes I have dated a handful of people during my time in the adult industry and feel (haughty haughty nose in the air) that I can gauge a good opinion on the situation.

I have had a wide range of reactions from people. Let me start with one where I was in a steady ish relationship and lived with the person so they were to know naturally. We knew each other well enough that is was something we assimilated into our lives rather than let get between us in any way. Long story short, it turned out fine, the person was apprehensive but curious in many ways…lets stop there. haha.

Moving on to another person I dated (again) that I had known since a young teenager. It was a reaction of “Why don’t you do something else, like your art?” but he was perfectly fine with the money I made and spent on him or whatever we decided to go and do. It’s okay sugar mamma for now but give it up someday okay? Dick… fuck you 🙂

PS: oh hey guess what, I’m still doing my art and doing it sucessfully. So thank you for that back handed comment that I remembered but guess what? I’m still doing adult because I love it too.

*I’ve never been one to have a guy tell ME what to do LOL shocking huh? I just would break up with them. If I’m not the center of attention and in control you can trot on out of the arena*

This one is good…I casually dated a piano player. Good times we were both artistic so it was fun. But I had ideas that he was having relations with his ex gf on the other side of the state when he went home and even though we were never close to being official I don’t share. He thought it was great and would show pictures of me to all his friends… yay? Not so much. At the time I ignored it. Now I would be like my business is my business and if I share with you, you don’t share with all your friends. I will call this “I feel like a cool guy syndrome” Not the biggest fan of that.

I will end with one last guy I dated very briefly and you will see why. He could call me a prostitute (he did not mean that in a nice way) one minute (of which I have nothing against this type of adult but honestly have never done) and than the next he loved me so much and wanted to stay the night. What? Now I can laugh, at the time it was very confusing and emotionally damaging to be treated so bi polar in that manner. I cut all things off with him as he also had a drinking problem that would spur his meanness on as well. None of these things I knew about beforehand but found out very quickly. And left.

So there you have it, four people I dated in the past 7 years. I don’t do much dating these days. Mostly focused on center and taking care of my own. But the reactions from people vary drastically. From cool let me show all my friends, to you are a whore but lets be together…sometimes…all the time…you prostitute you!

Before I leave here, I will touch on the comments of the non industry people. First off, telling someone on the first, second or third date that you are in adult is pretty presumptuous. You don’t know each other that well, how do you  know he isn’t some serial killer or will stalk you if the dates don’t continue? Or tell all his friends about your private life. Neither of these situations benefit you.

Maybe the best conversation starter would be “Do you like porn” you know…if you decide to enter the bedroom together. Gauge how he feels about that and what he likes to watch.

Shut the fuck up, don’t be coy. Most people these days are fucking before they even get out of whatever place they met at. (I don’t do that. Never have never will because I like a healthy vagina) I even know people who ask a potential partner for a clean STD test before entering into sexual relations. (not a bad idea at all) But this is not about that. SO. Asking about porn if you are sexually active with someone should not be embarrassing. Especially if you’ve had their dick in your mouth.

Secondly telling someone on the first, second or third date about such a “taboo and sometimes touchy subject” you don’t know each other well, there is no basis for he or she to stay with you if they are on the fence. Would probably still go sour fast without any grounding to explore and see how things would work out.

Lets have a fake (reality based) conversation for a minute. First date. Girl does porn.
Woman: Hey just want to let you know, I’m in porn, I have sex for a living. Is this okay?
Multiple Answers.
Man Answer 1. Wow, yes, perfectly fine, no worries at all. (man in back of his mind, I can’t wait to see where this goes tonight, caaachoowww, going to tell allllll my friends! maybe even my mama!)
Man Answer 2. Um, well, my family is Catholic. I’m celibate till marriage… (Goes to bathroom and never returns)
Man Answers 3. Oh my god she probably has AIDS! (no I don’t think this of industry people but most non industry people are very naive that performers are tested every TWO WEEKS! Results are shared on a private date base and any issues are taken care of.When was the last time you were tested?)
Man Answer 4. Wow, can I see some of your work, so beautiful. What’s your five year plan? Marriage? Kids? (you can take this as creepy or genuine interest)

Let me tell you, most likely you are going to get the first three answers when you don’t know someone well at all.

I think you should have a steady 6-10 dates under your belt and maybe a good sex romp or two before bringing it up. (Show them a clean STD test! Yay for responsibility!) I do NOT think not letting such information lose right away is lying. If someone understands and knows where you are coming from at all they will completely understand that your safety and privacy come first over someone you do not know very well. And I know most you girls (maybe guys) have a good background story you tell most people who ask about your work. For me I would simply say I’m an artist.

I don’t believe hiding behind a veil forever because you are in adult is healthy but it is the cold hard truth that telling people such sensitive information can lead to reprocussions. Even just friends. I had a girl friend (case in point-that I did not now very long) who was totally cool with it when I told her and than 6 months later tells me GOD LOVES ME and I don’t have to do “this”.

By the way that is my favorite meme of all time. *laughs so hard*

The moral of this story is to choose your timing wisely. Surround yourself with positive, understanding and open minded people. I grew up in a religious home so what I do is very off the beaten path compared to what family would have preferred to see. But they love me just the same and my friends have stayed by my side throughout everything and I’ve learned to date and stay with someone who loves ME and isn’t here for my income, the sex or “who I’m online”. Know that a person can be that for you, before sharing everything.

That is my 2 cents and I’m sticking it in my piggy bank… Ciao!