Most Idiotic Comment Awards 1

ChatRoom Guy: Will you use toys and fuck yourself? BTW I’m in a hurry and have 2 minutes.

*headdesk

Me: I do not use toys or masturbate online it is not my thing.

ChatRoom Guy: WTF you are SO lazy

*headdesk through the desk

Me: Um…I’m lazy because I won’t fake fuck myself or moan and pretend I like 2 minutes of plastic shoved in me for your pleasure?
Oh…yea. By the way I do shows and create clips based on story lines, sequels and fetish ideals that I research and read books about. But I’m lazy…Because I won’t lay there and do what you want. 

LOLOLOLOLOL

Hotel Massage…with no happy ending…or middle or begining.

I got to my hotel Friday night this past weekend and was like, well they have a spa here, I deserve a massage. right? RIGHT. A phone call is made, I get ready, I go downstairs. I’m like whew okay this will be a great start to the weekend. The fact that I’m even writing about this tells you that it was not. But wait…oh just wait for it.

I fill out the paperwork they make you do. Checking no on pregnant with an inner sigh of relief -sigh- and soon I’m in the lounge waiting room. Thinking to myself…I hope this is good. I need good. Knowing I was taking a risk at a hotel that does not count on repeat service of the same person.

My masseuse comes walking in and she is a curvier heavy set lady. This is fine…until we start walking up the stairs to the massage room and she is getting out of breathe (only two flights of stairs okay) I’m pretty sure since my facial emotions always give me away my eyes were getting wider and wider by the second. We get to the room and shes like “Wow those stairs really get me sometimes you know at the end of a long day and all”. I’m already thinking “Shut up, long day? This is MY time to relax lady I don’t care about your day”. Do I think that is bitchy to think, NO, a massage is to relax I don’t want you to talk and I don’t want you breathing like a horse that just ran all rounds of the triple crown.

Now I’m starting to begin to think this really was a mistake. It just gets worse…or better. However you want to see this predicament. She asks me a few questions, I answer. She pulls back the blanket and says “oh no I forgot the other sheet for the top…well I guess we can make do with just the blanket”… Uh ya sure. I should have ran at that point and faked an illness.

She leaves the room, I get laid down. She comes in and starts to roll me off the table…I mean massage me. Lord in heaven I thought I was going to go tumbling. She was doing this huge rubbing motions all over my right side I felt like maybe some skin grafts were being done I’m not completely sure. Meanwhile she is TALKING. She is FUCKING TALKING. I keep responding with mmhmm, mmm or anything I can not to actually speak and encourage her mouth vomit. Then she says these glorious words “I almost was going to wash my blanket but I guess the universe decided that for me when they said I had another appointment”

WHAT. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! The blanket that is on me is NOT WASHED?!?! holy lay me down to sleep and slap me for coming in here.

I’m now TRULY trying to think of a way to get up and say I need to leave. But I have no balls to do so. I really should have…if there is ever a next time of a bad start to a massage I will.

She continues to “massage” me in the weirdest motions by someone who I’m pretty sure does not actually have their massage license. I felt like she was squeezing my neck-I’m sure if I had to endure much longer I would have an anxiety attack. She says “I’ve never massaged someone so petite before” Me again, mmhmm. She asks how the pressure is, I say fine. Then she saks if I want lighter or harder (laughs) I said oh well maybe a little lighter. She then does this “HA HA ha ha ha HA hahaha extended laugh and says well then it’s NOT fine”

O M G. thank god I’m face down on the table or my eyes would be popping out. She keeps using an insane amount of lotion and rubbing it in her hands as if I’m expecting her to pull out a dick at any moment and start jacking off. It’s a distributing sound when one is face down on a table…naked. (yes I wear wearing my MeUndies panties)

She then stops massaging my back, thank god, but moves to my legs. This entire time she is being so rushed and fast. It was completely horrible. Shes massaging my legs…up my leg…up my leg…up my leg…she didn’t stop at my thigh. This woman’s fingers touched my vagina THREE TIMES.

By now I bet you are all wondering how I stayed. I don’t know how I did. I just…feel a bit traumatized. Now I don’t think this was intentional sexual harassment BUT I’m strongly debating an email to the hotel about it all. In a very condensed manner of course. Only you guys get the awesome details (headdesk)

I’m thinking it can’t get any worse. Then she moves to the other side of my back, the left. Then she at one point sits down ON THE MASSAGE TABLE and puts my arm in her lap. OMG. LOL. I was like what is happening here. She says “I find it so funny you said you do a lot of art bigger then yourself, you know you are just so tiny and all” She finds herself so funny here, what this woman does not fucking understand is I meant I do paintings 3 times taller then myself. YOU IDIOT. But of course she really has not listened to anything I said and is self absorbed in her rapid breathing, touching my vagina and sitting on the table I’m laying on.

The massage comes to an end…50 minutes felt like 3 hours. I can’t believe it even happened, I’ve filed it into a small portion of my brain labeled “nightmares”

It cost me $116…with an already added 18% gratuity that I could not get away from. Deep regret of that $116. Probably some of the worst money I’ve ever spent. Thank god it can be a tax write off with my back issues. Not much condolence at this point. Happy birthday weekend to me…

-sigh-
-SIGH-
-siiiigggghhhhhhhh-

Good morning.

I’ve been spending half this morning poking and prodding at the fire in the wood stove, adding wood and deciding if I should just get a blow torch at it….naw just kidding about the blow torch it would probably throw me backwards. This is becoming girl of the limberlost here with keeping this fire going. My test at self sufficiency has started-thank you universe-I did ask for it. As currently if you have not been following along I went to turn my furnace on for the first time and…crickets. Not from the evening music in the country but because it decided to die without notifying me first of its impending doom. We will have to work on those communication skills better next time…

So for now my only heat source is my wood stove. Real crazy that in mid September I need heat, September is suppose to be the month of mild temperatures, sweatpants and hoodies that make you go -sigh- isn’t this perfect? Instead mother nature has her own ideas…Rolling with the dropping temps here I had a consultation for new furnace and AC. Scheduled for tomorrow I do believe is when I will be getting to listen to the noises of installation of new units. And as that goes in over $7,000+ goes out. This is the only -sigh- happening. BUT I’m thankful I can pay for this, I save a lot, so there is no woe is me I’m broke story happening here. I’m smart, resourceful and calculative. This is when you tell me congratulations, high five me and beam at me. Proud right? Thought so.

I do believe I can write a portion of this off on my taxes because of my two home businesses. Yes two. Where have you been? Lets call one business “adult” the other “art”…but in my highly sensitive personality brain I like to think they are both “arts” *wink.

Then, I must apologize, I tried to get on cam the other night downstairs in the small remodeled portion of my basement. I would love to make it more dungeon like down there but handcuffing the guests to the bed at night may terrify them. So for now it’s nice, fluffy, white and calm. Opposite of how I felt after trying to cam down there the other night. The internet signal was just fine about a month ago when I decided to buy a bed/furnishings etc to the tune of $1,000 so that I could add a quiet night time work space. The daytime one has too many windows and no door and I like doors shut when I’m online I just feel more secluded…like in a little camming nest. (ha)

Anyways…I got all around, make up done, hair done, sexy outfit…sexy face on, was feeling frisky, taunting and ready to be a sex kitten. Then…internet…it took a vacation. Came back for a little tease…then gone again. I finagled with it for a good hour, even tried a booster that I installed. It decided one bar was as much as it had to give me that night. So alas, I had to retreat to the shower and sex kitten turned into frustration which meant it was time for bed. Tomorrow is always another day.

So the point of all that is…I still do not have a night time camming space. This is one reason you have not seen me online a lot. I’ve been in my new house 2 months now, insane how fast it’s gone already. I’m still adjusting and still trying to figure out what works best where and when here. So bear with me. I guess I’m kind of like the internet….back for a bit, such a tease…and gone again.

DEAL WITH IT!!! yep. I shouted. Terrifying I know. Time to call mommy.

Me. in HD.

No edits. No special affects. Just Me and My white paper lamp lights, little dress and sparkly heels. Perfect right? I thought so too…. *wink

These items are from C, My good wallet who loves to spoil Me. and I love it. *smiles

This was taken for fun after doing some custom HD photos with My Nikon in My new cam room. You can find out more about ordering your own special content by reading My blog page here: http://missvikkilynn.com/custom-videos/

Shit that was said yesterday… *behind the scenes*

Brooke: “I don’t really like when the meat is hanging over…”
Vikki:  “Uh…what? LOL

*hamburgers*

Vikki: “Do you ever look up at the sky and think, I’m on something ROUND, spinning…AROUND?!?”
Brooke: “Uh what…LOL”

*Seriously, look up at the sky and realize the insanity and beauty of the world! Sky PORN*

Vikki: “Did we really just spend two hours in this store and decide not to buy anything in the cart?”
Brooke: “I’m getting a broom? That’s practical right…?”

*Yes Brooke, sooo practical…*

Brooke: “Wait…you separate your “work” underwear from your “everyday” underwear.
Vikki: “Yes…I thought you would too?”

*Now Brooke has separated her undies into sexy and every day. Plus one for helpful organization*

Ask and you shall receive…

Yesterday I had a Skype with a slave of Mine who always mentions being blackmailed and his wife finding out about what hes doing online. So this time around I took things to the next level since he kept really asking for it…I took out My camcorder and started recoding the Skype. He got super nervous, his voice changed and everything. (I’m just laughing and smirking) After I demanded he pay Me to not put the video on clips4sale. He said I did not give you any information about myself, I said they can hear your voice. Then I watched the recorded session and it was SO hot even from a different angel. I demanded he pay Me again because it would be such a great seller on clips4sale. Then I sent the video to him (finally) after I was done toying with him and making him pay Me twice. Of which he called Me crazy, (I laughed) but in a good way, that he loved the power I have over him. I told him he better watch the session and give Me permission to post it on clips4sale after. We shall see what happens…Stay tuned 😉

Erotic, sensual and sometimes bratty femdom. Custom videos, clips, phone calls and online sessions.