Tag Archives: adult work

I’m a real human and a sex worker

It seems that this should not be a sentence I have to mesh together. Yet there is this huge void in peoples minds that justifies their words or actions because someone holds a taboo job gives them the means to ridicule, cut down or flat out verbally destroy someone via the internet.

I’ve been desiring to make a blog post about this for awhile. I’ve had these experiences for 9 years of being online in adult work but lately some fresh instances have given me a bit of a drive to sit down and really have a talk about it. (Please RT this post!)

Here look at these attachments. My twin Brooke today was the receiver of an unfortunate chain of events. Which fueled my fire yet again to write this. Take a look:

I’m not even sure where to start?

Firstly this video was most likely stolen and posted on a website that Brooke did not give permission for it to be there. Then it was sent to someone to post and make “funny” cracks at for their own deranged amusement.

I’ve seen situations like this get out of hand quickly.  Personal privacy breached, adult content put on a site where 18 and under can see it easier and to state the obvious that people have killed themselves over comments on the internet-THIS IS YET ANOTHER FORM OF CYBER BULLYING.
Just because you are behind a keyboard does not mean that your words are not harmful. (don’t worry Brooke is not upset but has reminded herself why she never reads comments)

In just a few comments she was called a bitch, a fucktard and other things. What an absolutely fowl way to describe a women you saw once in a video…that you know nothing about. Who was not harming anyone or anything. Who had her content stolen that was paid for by a client. you should all be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself this way.

Now Brooke and I have been online for almost a decade and fully aware that these type of situations happen so are not going to be a part of the statistics that commit suicide over it. Still a valid point to bring up in my opinion.

Secondly the comments of Daddy should be proud and all this other stuff. WHAT? lol >_< (laughing while cringing) why did you bring her parents up into this business? They have nothing to do with her adult life. Hey PS they know and it’s not an issue. Thanks for your concern. They are proud of the people they know we are past the job we chose. Can’t say the same for your parents if they saw you posting on this video ripping a young attractive girl apart for no reason.

She sure as fuck did not make that video for you. Actually a PAYING customer did though. Someone who respects her work and the validity of sex work in our society.

and she sure is fuck is not going to go start tanning because you think her skin is too pale for your liking. (get over yourself you twat pale skin is beautiful-tanning causes cancer)

Thirdly the majority of the comments are a negative bash while bringing a sexist vibe alluding to them jerking off to the “disgusting” video. Hmm. I don’t know but I’m not laughing.

A woman can be respected no matter her life choices being that of a sex worker. Many of my clients have the utmost respect for me. In privacy they tell me that bringing their fantasies to life has been immensely helpful. I make sure my clients are using my services as responsible as possible. Can’t say the same for a lot of conglomerate companies…but since a women is showing her body by her own choice for some reason men feel the need act as you see above.

The least other humans can do is make sure the words they are typing out are helpful and not harmful. I feel like I’m talking to a five year old right now. Think before you type/act/spew word diarrhea. “Are you words being helpful or harmful?”

Kudos and brownie points to the few on this post who said something positive or showed their credibility by speaking up for this women in the video.

This woman is a real person. A real person who I bet you did not think would see all your comments eh?

Sex workers are people with lives beyond what they do. Beyond the product they produce. We have families, hobbies, goals, dreams, illnesses, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, happiness, pets, children and lives just like yours. Yet the majority of sex workers I know are amazing people who have such compassion for others. Who are giving back behind the scenes to charities, family member and friends. All while being dissected under a microscope of hate.

There is positive vibes in sex work-the media just does not want you to see it.

Through sex work I have been able to explore hobbies I’d never have the time or income to do if I was working a 9-5. I’ve started other businesses. I give back monthly to people I know and do not know in any way I can. I’ve re habbed horses and found them better homes. An expense that never gives back financially. I’m able to provide myself with self care-mental health therapist, massages, quiet no work days, time spent in nature if I need etc. I could keep going but I’m sure those with a brain get the point.

Thank you to those who realize we are human. That sex work is work and that what we all can bring to the table can be life changing. Not only for ourselves but for our clients.

For inside the fact that we as sex workers are not widely accepted in society-but our services are widely used-we have found acceptance to be something we are incredibly good at.

I’ll accept that you like being called a doggie and spanked with a bottle up your ass if you’ll accept that I’m a person-just like you.


Finding Humor in Adult Work

The other day I tweeted asking for ideas about blogs you all feel would be interesting! I always like hearing what you would like to know more about.  Below Jay expresses his interest in hearing more about humor in adult work.  So lets call this an “Interesting Inquisitions” type of blog series.

IMG_8937I think you NEED a sense of humor to stay in this career path. When dealing with the delicate nature of sex and humanity there are lots of things that can go right…and lots of things that can go wrong. The ability to kind of laugh, take a joke or let things roll off you is important. Therefore you need humor in this industry to stay sane (or some version of sane)  Many speak about getting a “tough skin” being in a business that sells beauty.

Though I like to think (and believe) that it’s not just about beauty here, it’s about brains too. (if you plan to survive that is)

For example just today I and countless other online sex workers received an email about how horrible we are, that we need to repent and are whores. So…there is that…and then there is me laughing. What a way to inspire me for a future clip. -golf clap- LOL

I think humor is very sexy. If you can’t make me laugh long term we probably won’t be talking long. Whether it’s from a humiliating custom/session or just every day comical life-I like to laugh. I try to keep the laughing at others expense to when I’m paid for it…(hehe)

-But I do follow this twitter page, I think it’s called “The Darwin Awards” and it’s full of people doing really stupid things. HAHAHA! Certainly makes me feel better about my level of common sense.

Since many sex workers are alienated and judged extensively (and harshly) by society I think it’s important those who work in adult remain light hear-ted as possible about our career choices. Sex, Fetish, Kink etc is all sought out essentially as a feel good experience and to keep it that way must remain positive as possible.

Not to say that some (or all) of us don’t need a dark room and a different city, state to live in sometimes to get away from society well you have to find the humor in that yourself somehow.

As for what makes me laugh I think that is a broad spectrum. TV show wise I like comedies such as Friends or The Big Bang Theory. My sense of humor ranges form very dry to sadistic. I’m forever changing really. Depending on my mood something may be funny today that is not tomorrow!

Watch out…I’m like a cat…one minute I want you to touch me the other minutes I’m leaving a scar on your hand.

Thanks for the question Jay, enjoy. (I think you and I have a date with spin the bottle custom? Let’s see how funny things can get there -wink)


The Presence of Personality


Yesterday I tweeted about social media and personality. Lately I have seen a lot of women complaining venting social media is not helpful to them, twitter is dead, why bother etc.  I joined twitter in April 2010. I’ve been consistently active since. I feel it’s a great place to connect. So there is that word “connect”. I feel it is very important. If you are a domme, a sub, into vanilla or fetish-it does not matter it comes down to a few important words. Connect being one.

You want a fan base yes? you want people to follow you and what you are doing, keep up with your latest updates (blogs, clips, sessions etc) Well, how will you do that? You probably already know that answer…social media. So you pick your poison (twitter, instagram, facebook etc) And you start to carve out who you are, what you like, what you have to offer etc. People stumble across you, get recommended to you, follow you from seeing you live on cam, buying your clips etc. Some will just stay in background not conversing etc. Others will enjoy you so much they decide to tip, spend, support. This is a natural ebb and flow really. Just like any other service people like. Some will be in the background others in the foreground.

Why did they do this-find, follow, support…Well, because you showed your personality. They felt connected. This is not rocket science. (sorry not sorry) The biggest wave in porn is the ability to connect and really get to know people better.

Personality is important. It’s more important than that nude photo you just posted. Than that link to your blog. Adult work, especially online, is becoming more and more about the connection your client base feels to you and your work. They are going to feel connected not by just photos but by your personality. I feel this is a hang up for many. Especially because online perhaps certain aspects of ourselves are either hidden, not as desirable to our market or just don’t line up with work. (This is not any different -in many ways- than other jobs that civilians hold that they can’t come home and discuss their work or private lives clients etc) So therefore you have to become a personality that reflects a different essence of yourself. I can’t hold your hand in this and neither can anyone else. Copying someone else won’t get you very far either. If you want to make adult work work than a natural evolution of self is important. (more on that in a separate soon to come blog.

The point of this is that social media is a huge part of being successful for the long term. When I’m on twitter it’s fun to me but it’s also a part of my work and staying connected. Social media works in so many ways. I responded to a few tweets from people I did not know last week who ended up purchasing custom videos. The longing to feel connected is far from dead. Connection is created by your presence and personality.  This is a lot of work and a lot of every day involvement. Being self employed this is one of the areas that help keep you in the foreground.

This goes for any business really, in a world full of nudity and noise seconds away from a click…there HAS to be something else that creates feeling for those who really are worth investing in. Will that be you?

Anyone can be naked, not everyone can have a personality.  Both is golden in porn.

(Please note these are merely my opinions. I’ve been in the industry going on 9 years now. I’m here because I enjoy what I do and I enjoy connection. This career path is not for the lackluster or half assers. This is serious every day work that pays off in the long run (be smart, save, pay taxes on time) as long as YOU are willing to be personal, connected, self motivated and always willing to learn and evolve.)

Ciao !


The audacity…

Lately it seems this situation has been happening a lot…I also know it happens to other women who find it equally as irritating and laughable as I do.

Men emailing…tweeting at me…saying how I need to change things I’m doing. Men who are not women…who do not work my job. Know my life, my time for work or frankly anything much about me at all.

I was told recently my website here was fairly awful. (lol…mmm it’s a blog, that is free that I have no obligation to even have, I do it for a multitude of reasons. I don’t need to elaborate)




Much wow.

Don’t you think that after approaching 9 years in the industry I’ve been offered a website a few hundred times by people? Yes…yes I (we) have. But we have NO INTEREST AT THIS TIME. Don’t you think that with everything I sole manage that I could figure out how to get a website up.

That is great you think I could do better…let me tell you something. I’m doing just fine, I’m doing wonderful…sales are great, compliments on customs are great, I have goals for the future in the industry.

Goals that do not include men who think they are helping Me when they are merely not only wasting my time but also thinking that I must not be doing well because I’m not doing things how they would?

Que the laughing…

Yes there are different stages of being professional. I don’t feel at this time I need a fancy website because frankly I don’t have the time. Why would I do that and then not be able to maintain it…that level of lack of professionalism would be much more detrimental then the “awful” looking blog you think I have now. There are many different facets of the adult industry, I create and maintain what is in line with my needs, time and future desires.

I have a: twitter, 2 emails, a pornhub account, a FREE blog, 3 clips4sale stores, 2 iwantclip stores, a niteflirt, chatstar, skype sessions, 2 art websites w/multiple contracts…but you think I need to do something else?


And that is just adult work…the amount of responsibilities and things I have to juggle outside this career would shock most. But I don’t need to talk about it. Because it’s my personal business.

I’d like to say I appreciate that so many men want to come forward by first negatively commenting on what I do now and then turning around and trying to offer a free service after is touching…I would. But well I can’t…because it’s not.

In an industry with a burn out rate of 1-3 years and I’m approaching a decade…perhaps one would think I have a handle on my business, what I can handle and how it looks. I know I do, it’s time you did too.

I evolve over time, my business evolves over time…I’ll use the services and hire the people I see fit to have it continue as long as I choose to be in this career.

The last thing I need is another email or tweet about what I should change. From a man…who does not support my business…who is not a woman and has not physically/emotionally/mentally worked in the sex industry.

In all business some may think you should welcome feedback…I sure do on a certain level…from those who PURCHASE and SUPPORT that business. In a private setting that is meant to uplift and encourage more creation. Or to actually BE helpful.

It’s pretty pathetic that I would even think I had to write how one should correctly address someone they look up too, especially  in female domination about how they could make their business better.

“hello Goddess, I noticed such and such and thought how wonderful it would be if it matched such and such and I would so love to help if you are interested. I currently love everything you do and will continue to support it either way. thank you Goddess, I sent a tribute for taking up your time to read this”

Now that is something I would entertain.

I’m still here because I really do what I love and put as much time into as I can. No one forced me to do this job and no one is going to force me to do things I don’t have time for, don’t feel ready for or just plain don’t line up with my visions/marketing/goals.

I’m a human being…and I’m on my own journey…taking it at my own pace. I’m not here to live up to your personal standards.

To those who support, revere and love being on this rollercoaster of female domination life with me…thank you. Thank you for understanding that what I have to give is enough and enjoying every stage of change…that it comes at the pace I’m most comfortable with so that I’m giving the best of myself at that time.



My #femdom quotes

I’m a busy, bad ass bitch. Set yourself apart, show worthiness to release My energy and time in your direction + be grateful for it.

The best way to show Me your legit interest is to tribute, even small amounts can catch My Attention and create a positive reaction.

I’m what your subconscious warns you about-but can’t resist-it feels too good 

Can you handle it…come on…try. Bitch boy.