Tag Archives: sex work

I’m a real human and a sex worker

It seems that this should not be a sentence I have to mesh together. Yet there is this huge void in peoples minds that justifies their words or actions because someone holds a taboo job gives them the means to ridicule, cut down or flat out verbally destroy someone via the internet.

I’ve been desiring to make a blog post about this for awhile. I’ve had these experiences for 9 years of being online in adult work but lately some fresh instances have given me a bit of a drive to sit down and really have a talk about it. (Please RT this post!)

Here look at these attachments. My twin Brooke today was the receiver of an unfortunate chain of events. Which fueled my fire yet again to write this. Take a look:

I’m not even sure where to start?

Firstly this video was most likely stolen and posted on a website that Brooke did not give permission for it to be there. Then it was sent to someone to post and make “funny” cracks at for their own deranged amusement.

I’ve seen situations like this get out of hand quickly.  Personal privacy breached, adult content put on a site where 18 and under can see it easier and to state the obvious that people have killed themselves over comments on the internet-THIS IS YET ANOTHER FORM OF CYBER BULLYING.
Just because you are behind a keyboard does not mean that your words are not harmful. (don’t worry Brooke is not upset but has reminded herself why she never reads comments)

In just a few comments she was called a bitch, a fucktard and other things. What an absolutely fowl way to describe a women you saw once in a video…that you know nothing about. Who was not harming anyone or anything. Who had her content stolen that was paid for by a client. you should all be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself this way.

Now Brooke and I have been online for almost a decade and fully aware that these type of situations happen so are not going to be a part of the statistics that commit suicide over it. Still a valid point to bring up in my opinion.

Secondly the comments of Daddy should be proud and all this other stuff. WHAT? lol >_< (laughing while cringing) why did you bring her parents up into this business? They have nothing to do with her adult life. Hey PS they know and it’s not an issue. Thanks for your concern. They are proud of the people they know we are past the job we chose. Can’t say the same for your parents if they saw you posting on this video ripping a young attractive girl apart for no reason.

She sure as fuck did not make that video for you. Actually a PAYING customer did though. Someone who respects her work and the validity of sex work in our society.

and she sure is fuck is not going to go start tanning because you think her skin is too pale for your liking. (get over yourself you twat pale skin is beautiful-tanning causes cancer)

Thirdly the majority of the comments are a negative bash while bringing a sexist vibe alluding to them jerking off to the “disgusting” video. Hmm. I don’t know but I’m not laughing.

A woman can be respected no matter her life choices being that of a sex worker. Many of my clients have the utmost respect for me. In privacy they tell me that bringing their fantasies to life has been immensely helpful. I make sure my clients are using my services as responsible as possible. Can’t say the same for a lot of conglomerate companies…but since a women is showing her body by her own choice for some reason men feel the need act as you see above.

The least other humans can do is make sure the words they are typing out are helpful and not harmful. I feel like I’m talking to a five year old right now. Think before you type/act/spew word diarrhea. “Are you words being helpful or harmful?”

Kudos and brownie points to the few on this post who said something positive or showed their credibility by speaking up for this women in the video.

This woman is a real person. A real person who I bet you did not think would see all your comments eh?

Sex workers are people with lives beyond what they do. Beyond the product they produce. We have families, hobbies, goals, dreams, illnesses, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, happiness, pets, children and lives just like yours. Yet the majority of sex workers I know are amazing people who have such compassion for others. Who are giving back behind the scenes to charities, family member and friends. All while being dissected under a microscope of hate.

There is positive vibes in sex work-the media just does not want you to see it.

Through sex work I have been able to explore hobbies I’d never have the time or income to do if I was working a 9-5. I’ve started other businesses. I give back monthly to people I know and do not know in any way I can. I’ve re habbed horses and found them better homes. An expense that never gives back financially. I’m able to provide myself with self care-mental health therapist, massages, quiet no work days, time spent in nature if I need etc. I could keep going but I’m sure those with a brain get the point.

Thank you to those who realize we are human. That sex work is work and that what we all can bring to the table can be life changing. Not only for ourselves but for our clients.

For inside the fact that we as sex workers are not widely accepted in society-but our services are widely used-we have found acceptance to be something we are incredibly good at.

I’ll accept that you like being called a doggie and spanked with a bottle up your ass if you’ll accept that I’m a person-just like you.

MV

Revering Women (and Men) in Adult Entertainment

Per my tweet this morning:

“I think (and hope) in my lifetime + time spent in adult industry, that we are reaching open mindedness + acceptance of these important roles”

There is so much more to say about this topic and so many have been speaking out about it lately. I feel it’s an intellectual topic worth discussing. Yes sex and intelligence hand in hand. It can happen. (Does for me every day, but I’m a Goddess remember?)

Definition of REVERING– feel deep respect or admiration for (something).
“Cézanne’s still lifes were revered by his contemporaries”
synonyms: respectadmirehonor, think highly of, esteem, hold in high esteem, hold in high regard, look up to, put on a pedestal, lionizereverence

“she is revered as a national hero”

I know, from my browsing of a recent popular comedians (@margaretcho on twitter) who was speaking out about sex work, that this word (revering) associated with sex work seems to put some people off. Why should we hold in high esteem those who use their bodies sexually to make money?

Well why the hell should we NOT? Sex is a part of our biology, none of us would be here if it did not occur. Why should we treat it as more taboo then what shows up in clips4sale categories? Yes sex can be special, intimate and done with love…or it can be rough, unemotional and hot as fuck. There are so many variations-sex is a rainbow of possibilities. And to appreciate it we need don’t need to like every color-but accept that they are there and others may enjoy them. (smile)

Photo on 5-14-15 at 12.17 PM #3

For anyone who’s ever been in the sex industry you know how hard it is to work, entertain and keep a private life normal as well. I like to compare it to people who are in the military and call others civilians-I’ve seen people in adult call those not in adult civilians. (not that I think military work compares to porn-as it does not-so don’t get your panties in a bunch) It’s just something that you either get or you don’t and the lucky ones can empathize or sympathize in some way. (or enjoy the fuck out of porn and not get into the politics of it-shrugs)

People “discover” what the single mother down the street “is doing” and say “ew” or “I can’t believe she’s doing that, what will her child think” etc instead of saying “good for her, she’s providing in the best way she can and her child(s) have everything they need” People go right to work demonizing people in adult instead of realizing sex and it’s services have always been a part of life. Now that it is more readily accessed via the internet and ability to communicate around the world by phone, text and email-then of course opinions fly and people don’t want to see the very thing we condone behind doors when they are closed-consenual sex between willing partners or parties who take part in activities they all enjoy.

Sex work is very empowering to many people. They love to express themselves, feel good and to bring those feelings of Christmas morning or euphoria to others as well. When I try to explain fetish or femdom to some people they just do not get it.  I get the side eye or they think I need to tell my clients to seek professional help. (albeit some should that is not my place to say so and I will merely just not partake in something if I feel it’s crossing a healthy fetish boundary) Fetish can be a healing process and helps people cope with feelings they have inside or outside of sexual experiences. Fetish is some peoples therapy. You don’t have to agree, partake or like-but a decent (intelligent) human being should have the capacity to keep an open mind. As always, if you don’t like something, don’t look, don’t read and leave.

Because I’m sure as fuck that I can get you to like something in the fetish world wether you will admit it or not-but I’m sure you can’t give me one good reason why my job isn’t valuable or can be validated.

And I’m not looking for validation. There has been times in my life where my job here made things hard and I tried myself to validate it-I can’t tell people about it and it can be isolating. Like living in Alaska all by yourself and your plain alone. No one knows  what you do for work and how passionate you really are about it and educating myself more (and others). It can also be a safety issue as well. Sharing that you are a sex worked all of a sudden makes people think that you have open legs.

Yes this has happened to me. It has also happened that people I thought could not discuss my personal business have started following my online life and told others in an office setting etc. (bank, lawyer etc) If you’ve ever been stalked or harassed in any manner you can get how anxiety inducing this is. The rumors alone online are eye rolling and sometimes worrisome.

Sex work is hard for many reasons. This just touches on a few. I could write in depth about my experiences but hey perhaps I should save that for a book someday with my twin Brooke. (see photo)

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Although there can be hard times to maneuver socially, there has been so many lights in my life from being in this industry. So many clients are friends and people I can ask questions or opinions about things or talk about whatever. They have supported my art and encouraged me from day one. That is so valuable to me. I’ve had the ability and financial ability to not be in debt (except my home-which is a goal of mine to pay off sooner then later) and to start my new passion with my horses. They have been amazing at reducing the anxiety in my life. (albeit they are not cheap companions all the help with them from friends here has been a miracle) I have the ability to explore my art-something my entire life I had people telling me to do more with. Being in adult has given me some more free time I may not have with a 9-5 job. That time I’ve used to turn my art into a business which has brought me so many unique opportunities and ability to meet so many unique clients as well.

I truly have the best of both worlds to create art for peoples homes and business around the world as well as exploring the fetish and femdom world. I’ve grown so much as a person and the hard times have became worth it. There is, as life goes, I’m sure many more hard and joyous times ahead. (for your dick too-haHA)

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Sex work is work. Sex workers are mothers (fathers), wives (husbands), single people paying for college, your neighbor, family member and most importantly are people with feelings, dreams and desires just like any other human.

Purchasing their services not only allows them to create more, become better at what they do and live a life they love-but to pay for  “porn” is giving people the ability to live their lives freely. To choose their own destiny. Like it? Click and enjoy. Don’t? Then fall behind…because the new wave of the written book of humans is the capacity to free and open the mind to all aspects of our lives.

Thank you internet, thank you for those who support me and other sex workers-in person or online. You make a difference-but also please make sure to not treat us like we are something to be used when no one is looking. In proper areas and company support your views, support sex workers rights. Sex work is not going away-neither are the taxes I (or you) pay. So you may want to get use to them both.

Sex work has a huge place in this world. I plan to make it a professional and meaningful experience to the best of my ability.

Enjoy a sex workers hard work today (by purchasing their services and helping them…It’s fun right?

Cheers

MV

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Side Note: People like to bring up those who are forced into sex work and how it relates to consensual sex work when it does not relate in the manner they think it does. People who do sex work out of their own free will are free to make those choices. People who are abducted and forced into it are on a different planet-which is downright horrible and a hideous practice that I myself am committed to bringing the proper awareness too. I keep a special number in my phone to contact if I think anything is suspicious around me. Because even in “normal” American towns-sexual abductions and kidnappings for the sex trade DO happen. Find your local hotline number and keep your eyes open wherever you are. It’s important.