I know, from my browsing of a recent popular comedians (@margaretcho on twitter) who was speaking out about sex work, that this word (revering) associated with sex work seems to put some people off. Why should we hold in high esteem those who use their bodies sexually to make money?

Well why the hell should we NOT? Sex is a part of our biology, none of us would be here if it did not occur. Why should we treat it as more taboo then what shows up in clips4sale categories? Yes sex can be special, intimate and done with love…or it can be rough, unemotional and hot as fuck. There are so many variations-sex is a rainbow of possibilities. And to appreciate it we need don’t need to like every color-but accept that they are there and others may enjoy them. (smile)

For anyone who’s ever been in the sex industry you know how hard it is to work, entertain and keep a private life normal as well. I like to compare it to people who are in the military and call others civilians-I’ve seen people in adult call those not in adult civilians. (not that I think military work compares to porn-as it does not-so don’t get your panties in a bunch) It’s just something that you either get or you don’t and the lucky ones can empathize or sympathize in some way. (or enjoy the fuck out of porn and not get into the politics of it-shrugs)

People “discover” what the single mother down the street “is doing” and say “ew” or “I can’t believe she’s doing that, what will her child think” etc instead of saying “good for her, she’s providing in the best way she can and her child(s) have everything they need” People go right to work demonizing people in adult instead of realizing sex and it’s services have always been a part of life. Now that it is more readily accessed via the internet and ability to communicate around the world by phone, text and email-then of course opinions fly and people don’t want to see the very thing we condone behind doors when they are closed-consenual sex between willing partners or parties who take part in activities they all enjoy.

Sex work is very empowering to many people. They love to express themselves, feel good and to bring those feelings of Christmas morning or euphoria to others as well. When I try to explain fetish or femdom to some people they just do not get it.  I get the side eye or they think I need to tell my clients to seek professional help. (albeit some should that is not my place to say so and I will merely just not partake in something if I feel it’s crossing a healthy fetish boundary) Fetish can be a healing process and helps people cope with feelings they have inside or outside of sexual experiences. Fetish is some peoples therapy. You don’t have to agree, partake or like-but a decent (intelligent) human being should have the capacity to keep an open mind. As always, if you don’t like something, don’t look, don’t read and leave.

Because I’m sure as fuck that I can get you to like something in the fetish world wether you will admit it or not-but I’m sure you can’t give me one good reason why my job isn’t valuable or can be validated.

And I’m not looking for validation. There has been times in my life where my job here made things hard and I tried myself to validate it-I can’t tell people about it and it can be isolating. Like living in Alaska all by yourself and your plain alone. No one knows  what you do for work and how passionate you really are about it and educating myself more (and others). It can also be a safety issue as well. Sharing that you are a sex worked all of a sudden makes people think that you have open legs.

Yes this has happened to me. It has also happened that people I thought could not discuss my personal business have started following my online life and told others in an office setting etc. (bank, lawyer etc) If you’ve ever been stalked or harassed in any manner you can get how anxiety inducing this is. The rumors alone online are eye rolling and sometimes worrisome.

Sex work is hard for many reasons. This just touches on a few. I could write in depth about my experiences but hey perhaps I should save that for a book someday with my twin Brooke. (see photo)

Although there can be hard times to maneuver socially, there has been so many lights in my life from being in this industry. So many clients are friends and people I can ask questions or opinions about things or talk about whatever. They have supported my art and encouraged me from day one. That is so valuable to me. I’ve had the ability and financial ability to not be in debt (except my home-which is a goal of mine to pay off sooner then later) and to start my new passion with my horses. They have been amazing at reducing the anxiety in my life. (albeit they are not cheap companions all the help with them from friends here has been a miracle) I have the ability to explore my art-something my entire life I had people telling me to do more with. Being in adult has given me some more free time I may not have with a 9-5 job. That time I’ve used to turn my art into a business which has brought me so many unique opportunities and ability to meet so many unique clients as well.

I truly have the best of both worlds to create art for peoples homes and business around the world as well as exploring the fetish and femdom world. I’ve grown so much as a person and the hard times have became worth it. There is, as life goes, I’m sure many more hard and joyous times ahead. (for your dick too-haHA)

Sex work is work. Sex workers are mothers (fathers), wives (husbands), single people paying for college, your neighbor, family member and most importantly are people with feelings, dreams and desires just like any other human.

Purchasing their services not only allows them to create more, become better at what they do and live a life they love-but to pay for  “porn” is giving people the ability to live their lives freely. To choose their own destiny. Like it? Click and enjoy. Don’t? Then fall behind…because the new wave of the written book of humans is the capacity to free and open the mind to all aspects of our lives.

Side Note: People like to bring up those who are forced into sex work and how it relates to consensual sex work when it does not relate in the manner they think it does. People who do sex work out of their own free will are free to make those choices. People who are abducted and forced into it are on a different planet-which is downright horrible and a hideous practice that I myself am committed to bringing the proper awareness too. I keep a special number in my phone to contact if I think anything is suspicious around me. Because even in “normal” American towns-sexual abductions and kidnappings for the sex trade DO happen. Find your local hotline number and keep your eyes open wherever you are. It’s important.