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Things to do, when you think you have nothing to do because of CO19

I do hope that next year at this same time I can reveal and feel blessed in the idea that we are not dealing with this sort of situation. This is certainly a one of a kind experience that none of us were expecting. I do not want to replicate this again in my life time. This year has been a hard one for many. I myself do not take the changing of a year as a tipping point of difference. I use all year around as a self motivation to seek to better myself and the world around me. While it is perfectly okay to use a new year to motivate, I just want people to not get caught up in the idea a new year should have meant a better one. I believe humans get caught up in the control of time. When time is changing, infinite and out of our control. Time is a man made construct. Lets not get stuck on the idea that 2020 should have been a year that things changed, instead we can become aware that our current situation has spurred the need for the very things that are unjust in this world and should be changed.

I also want to touch on those who are making light of the situation with jokes. That is not my aim with this blog posting. Many of our fellow humans are immune compromised, sick, pregnant, cancer, elderly etc. This is a very real threat to them. We must change our habits to protect others. I’m certain most of us have someone who falls under the high risk category. During this time we should be reaching out to others to assist best of our ability.

Remember to breathe deeply, get extra sleep, drink lots of water and try to eat well. Find a center of calm and do not let panic spur your reactions or conversations with others. Preparing the best you can will lessen any anxiety. Grab some extra food if possible or contact the right people if you are in need of help from community for food.

I wanted to initially make this blog so I could share a list of ideas to keep people busy. I know our brains can get caught up in gerbil wheel and not think straight during times of uncertainty. If you have an idea please comment on twitter below and I might add it in! I realize some of these ideas do take income and not everyone will have expendable income at this time. I’m sending everyone love and light as I know this is an uneasy time. I hope you can find something useful here for yourself.

  1. CLEAN YOUR VEHICLES: Now is a really great time to clean out your car. REALLY GOOD. Since our cars take us lots of places and therefor are also coming in contact with places and others through this means. Planning to give your car a deep interior clean is a great idea and way to pass the time. Turn on some great music (not the news!) and find it as a way of meditating while getting a task done that many find hard to find time for usually. My car is usually the last place I have time to give a deep clean so I’m planning this myself likely next week.
  2. GET OUTSIDE: This is very important. (long as this is allowed in your country/city/state) If you can not get outside, sit by an open window. Nature and fresh air is very good for our immune systems. Make sure you stay warm, scarfs around the neck are great way to have something to pull up over your face too if going by or around others. Turn on some music (not the news!) or just quietly meditate as you walk, run or maybe just enjoy laying outside on a blanket.
  3. BOOKS PODCASTS MAGAZINES: Now is a great time to catch up on all that reading or listening material that you think about doing during the work day. Watching other peoples podcasts are also very helpful on youtube as views can generate income for those who use youtube as a stream of income. I have quite a few artists that I can’t wait to dive into their podcasts during this time. (I’m trying to stay positive) Many artists also have online classes! Adding another thread for that:
  4. ONLINE CLASSES: I do not mean college necessarily or at all. Many entrepreneurs have access to online classes that can be purchased one at a time or as bundles (which usually give a discount). Artists, musicians, cosplayers, tarot card readers etc. All these type of things can be done remotely. This will also help creatives as being self employed especially now can be quite volatile.
  5. RESTAURANT GIFT CARDS: To help small business-I saw this today and thought it was a super sweet gesture for those that can afford it. To support your local (community owned, I’m not worried about chains) restaurants who may have to close soon, buy a gift card now and use it later when things start to improve. They can use the money now and you can use your gift card later. It will be something to look forward too. Take a friend out, significant other or maybe by then you’ll have arranged a date!
  6. MENTAL HEALTH: Many providers will allow or have access to a session ONLINE. Make sure you carve out time to talk to someone if you need too. Just being able to get it all out, have a good cry and have someone be there for you and a voice of reason is good. If you do not have a therapist maybe ask a friend if it’s okay if you can discuss some of your fears with them right now. (not everyone has the head space to do so, please be respectful of others mental health as well)
  7. PAINT A ROOM: Or two or three? Grab some paint for your house. Do you need a room painted and just have not had the time? Now is a great time to start a project that does not invest a ton of money but can keep you occupied. Make sure you get all the right supplies. Painters tape, the right paint, brushes and rollers. I have a few rooms that could use touched up so this is something I’m going to plan for myself. Don’t forget your baseboards especially if they are white like mine. (UGH! haha) ALSO:
  8. SMALL HOME REPAIRS: This is a great time to make your spring home repair list of small things you can do yourself and or know someone you can pay if they need the income and are talented in that department. Grab those supplies in the next few days as it might be possible that some businesses will close. Spring is starting many places and if you have a yard a lot can be accomplished. The entire process will help your mind and be a great way to help your body by being outside. Maybe you want to even plan a super small garden this year? I’ve been wanting too for years and have not had the time. This year might just be my year!
  9. HOBBY TIME: I’m sure we all have a hobby we wish we had a bit more time for. To learn about or actually do. Youtube is a great place to learn more about a hobby and how to do it, the right supplies needed etc. It is also a free resource. Maybe you have a lot of supplies for your hobby already? Now is a great time to organize them. Hobbies can be lots of things: baking, painting, singing, learning an instrument, writing and gee…the list could go on!
  10. ORGANIZE: I’m super big on an organized household but working from home I’m always meddling in improving that somewhere in my house. If you are home and can not work now is a great time to organize literally…everything. Closets, drawers, the kitchen, bathroom etc. Not good at organizing? Lots of free articles and ideas online on youtube, pinterest and lots of blogs and websites. Organizing is also a great way to mentally clear your mind. The less stuff we have laying around that we don’t use or need the more our minds are free to be wild and play. Don’t forget your garage! Or maybe you have a storage unit. ALSO:
  11. BOXES/DONATIONS: Get some boxes while you are organizing, leave one in each room or in the hallway by multiple rooms. Have an “unsure box” “don’t want box” “give to friends box” etc so on and so forth. OR just donate it all to a charity once it is allowed to do so. (Since I realize many will be closed) BUT you can go through your things and have it ready for when the time comes.
  12. FACETIME! PHONECALLS! Since face to face communication is not going to be possible now is the time to (sorry if you hate phone calls I know that can give some people anxiety!) call and check in on your friends you may have not been able to for awhile. Use Skype for video or FT if you have it. Lots of people do this all the time but it may be new to some. Especially older people. Teach them how to use it so you can make them feel not alone during this time. You can even just text them photos of you and your loved ones and tell them what you are doing that day.
  13. TAXES: wow this is kind of terrible to mention isn’t it? Because it is NOT fun. Well not for me…I do not get any money back. Many might and that may be super helpful right now. Now is a great time to get your taxes dealt with in next few weeks. Lots of people can do this online so it can be done without face to face contact. It will feel GOOD once you have them done and help you feel like you are controlling something.
  14. BE FUCKING NICE: Yes this should have been number 1 eh? Especially to retail employees at stores right now. This is likely going to be one of their worst few weeks to month ever working during this. Find your center of compassion and USE IT. Maybe if you even have money to spare give them a $5 starbucks gift card. Little acts of kindness go A LONG WAY. Do not HOARD supplies at the store. I absolutely promise if you do run out of toilet paper you have running water and dish rags right? Clean your butt and wash the rags in a separate load of laundry. I know this seems like rocket science but people did it before toilet paper and you can too.
  15. MAKE A LIST: Of all the things you have been wanting to get too but have not had the time. I actually keep a running list on my home whiteboard of things that I can do when I have some extra time. Now I will be able to really dive into that list. Everyone’s list will look different! I want to hang some twinkly lights in a room, clean off my winter boots (horses! haha) and paint a fence. I have way more on that list but I wanted to show some of my own ideas so you can see well…they are quite mundane but they will keep me occupied!

    I can’t wait to hear what ideas YOU have and maybe I will add them to my list! Please know I’m not giving any medical advice in this blog, I’m keeping that to the professionals. There is quite a few great posts out there about how to stay safe, healthy and not pass germs. Please stay home if you are sick. Contact anyone you know to bring you supplies OR order online from the grocery store and pick up at the curb. Together we will all get through this and help prevent the further spread of CO19. Find your center of calm and know that this too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever-but we can use this situation as a catalyst for change.

    Thank you for joining me here!

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I’m a real human and a sex worker, adult worker, porn star, femdom guru.

It seems that this should not be a sentence I have to mesh together. Yet there is this huge void in peoples minds that justifies their words or actions because someone holds a taboo job gives them the means to ridicule, cut down or flat out verbally destroy someone via the internet.

I’ve been desiring to make a blog post about this for awhile. I’ve had these experiences for 9 years of being online in adult work but lately some fresh instances have given me a bit of a drive to sit down and really have a talk about it. (Please RT this post!)

Here look at these attachments. My twin Brooke today was the receiver of an unfortunate chain of events. Which fueled my fire yet again to write this. Take a look:

I’m not even sure where to start?

Firstly this video was most likely stolen and posted on a website that Brooke did not give permission for it to be there. Then it was sent to someone to post and make “funny” cracks at for their own deranged amusement.

I’ve seen situations like this get out of hand quickly.  Personal privacy breached, adult content put on a site where 18 and under can see it easier and to state the obvious that people have killed themselves over comments on the internet-THIS IS YET ANOTHER FORM OF CYBER BULLYING.
Just because you are behind a keyboard does not mean that your words are not harmful. (don’t worry Brooke is not upset but has reminded herself why she never reads comments)

In just a few comments she was called a bitch, a fucktard and other things. What an absolutely fowl way to describe a women you saw once in a video…that you know nothing about. Who was not harming anyone or anything. Who had her content stolen that was paid for by a client. you should all be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself this way.

Now Brooke and I have been online for almost a decade and fully aware that these type of situations happen so are not going to be a part of the statistics that commit suicide over it. Still a valid point to bring up in my opinion.

Secondly the comments of Daddy should be proud and all this other stuff. WHAT? lol >_< (laughing while cringing) why did you bring her parents up into this business? They have nothing to do with her adult life. Hey PS they know and it’s not an issue. Thanks for your concern. They are proud of the people they know we are past the job we chose. Can’t say the same for your parents if they saw you posting on this video ripping a young attractive girl apart for no reason.

She sure as fuck did not make that video for you. Actually a PAYING customer did though. Someone who respects her work and the validity of sex work in our society.

and she sure is fuck is not going to go start tanning because you think her skin is too pale for your liking. (get over yourself you twat pale skin is beautiful-tanning causes cancer)

Thirdly the majority of the comments are a negative bash while bringing a sexist vibe alluding to them jerking off to the “disgusting” video. Hmm. I don’t know but I’m not laughing.

A woman can be respected no matter her life choices being that of a sex worker. Many of my clients have the utmost respect for me. In privacy they tell me that bringing their fantasies to life has been immensely helpful. I make sure my clients are using my services as responsible as possible. Can’t say the same for a lot of conglomerate companies…but since a women is showing her body by her own choice for some reason men feel the need act as you see above.

The least other humans can do is make sure the words they are typing out are helpful and not harmful. I feel like I’m talking to a five year old right now. Think before you type/act/spew word diarrhea. “Are you words being helpful or harmful?”

Kudos and brownie points to the few on this post who said something positive or showed their credibility by speaking up for this women in the video.

This woman is a real person. A real person who I bet you did not think would see all your comments eh?

Sex workers are people with lives beyond what they do. Beyond the product they produce. We have families, hobbies, goals, dreams, illnesses, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, happiness, pets, children and lives just like yours. Yet the majority of sex workers I know are amazing people who have such compassion for others. Who are giving back behind the scenes to charities, family member and friends. All while being dissected under a microscope of hate.

There is positive vibes in sex work-the media just does not want you to see it.

Through sex work I have been able to explore hobbies I’d never have the time or income to do if I was working a 9-5. I’ve started other businesses. I give back monthly to people I know and do not know in any way I can. I’ve re habbed horses and found them better homes. An expense that never gives back financially. I’m able to provide myself with self care-mental health therapist, massages, quiet no work days, time spent in nature if I need etc. I could keep going but I’m sure those with a brain get the point.

Thank you to those who realize we are human. That sex work is work and that what we all can bring to the table can be life changing. Not only for ourselves but for our clients.

For inside the fact that we as sex workers are not widely accepted in society-but our services are widely used-we have found acceptance to be something we are incredibly good at.

I’ll accept that you like being called a doggie and spanked with a bottle up your ass if you’ll accept that I’m a person-just like you.


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Communicating Interests

The other day I tweeted asking for ideas about blogs you all feel would be interesting! I always like hearing what you would like to know more about. Below Kelle expresses her interest in hearing more about communicating your interests in adult work.  So lets call this an “Interesting Inquisitions” type of blog series.

IMG_8936Great question!

Many people are socially awkward in person and much better online via email. Or really great in person but really horrible online.  Or on rare occasions you can have someone that is great at both things! (me! or least I can pretend to be good at both…yay acting!)

Either way, here we are, online-so let’s talk about that.

When someone emails me it’s so great when they start with addressing me, introducing themselves and what they are interested in purchasing.  Because in all honesty that is what the prime focus is for me having an email address that I share. The email (at the height of it’s greatness) should resemble something like this:

“Hello Miss Victoria,

I’m a big fan of your work for quite some time and have been purchasing it for awhile. I’m truly interested in a custom video that includes ass worship, cei and some light humiliation. I’m looking for it to be around 10 minutes and or spend X amount at this time. If you are available to produce this desired content for me I would be very thankful. I will patiently await further communication.

Sincerely, -submissive joe”

See does not have to be extremely detailed to start (or even submissive in nature if you are not into that), starting the wave of communication is the second most important part…

What is the first? Why am I doing this backwards?

because that is what most people do… (lol sigh)

FIRST, the most important part of communicating with an online producer that you want to support is reading their blog and or website for information that helps you make a decisions. That is why they have it there. (well it’s why I do at least) My blog for example on custom videos outlines prices, things I’m into, things I’m not into, scene locations etc.

The first and foremost worst thing you can do after reading my blog is emailing me saying: “I know you said you don’t do x, y and x but since you did before in your clip store a few years ago I’m wondering if you’ll -que insane long email with insanely detailed script containing things I already quite clearly said I’m not into doing-

No. No I won’t. Now you’ve just wasted my time, my brain space and capacity to put my neurons towards other uses. I do not, I repeat I do not have to explain to you my choices of why I don’t do things on the no list etc. It’s not your business.

Read my blog/website…learn a little bit about me and what I’m currently about…this will insure that you receive timely responses to the emails you send and a video I can agree to produce that tickles both our fancies.

Many producers receive a lot of emails, it’s helpful but not necessary to send a small token or appreciation when emailing. A tribute or gift card somewhere. This shows that you are indeed serious about a custom video, skype session, clothing purchase etc. I’m not all about nickle and diming people BUT sometimes it can get really daunting for a producer to respond to so many emails that never come to anything. One attached with a tribute can get a lot faster attention.

-attaching said tribute does not make you an alpha god, please act accordingly-as in not like a pompous asshole-

This really is not rocket science but I do admit that some of us don’t think the same as others who may be more adept at communication. I’ve just been doing this for 9 years so to be things appear plain as day but for someone else quite murky. I hope you find this helpful. If you have further ideas you think would add to this blog posting leave a comment in the section below!

To sum this up, read about the producer, coordinate email with introduction, body, signature and be oh so thankful we all here in this industry like to cater to your kinks. 😉

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