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Lately it seems this situation has been happening a lot…I also know it happens to other women who find it equally as irritating and laughable as I do.
Men emailing…tweeting at me…saying how I need to change things I’m doing. Men who are not women…who do not work my job. Know my life, my time for work or frankly anything much about me at all.
I was told recently my website here was fairly awful. (lol…mmm it’s a blog, that is free that I have no obligation to even have, I do it for a multitude of reasons. I don’t need to elaborate)
Don’t you think that after approaching 9 years in the industry I’ve been offered a website a few hundred times by people? Yes…yes I (we) have. But we have NO INTEREST AT THIS TIME. Don’t you think that with everything I sole manage that I could figure out how to get a website up.
That is great you think I could do better…let me tell you something. I’m doing just fine, I’m doing wonderful…sales are great, compliments on customs are great, I have goals for the future in the industry.
Goals that do not include men who think they are helping Me when they are merely not only wasting my time but also thinking that I must not be doing well because I’m not doing things how they would?
Que the laughing…
Yes there are different stages of being professional. I don’t feel at this time I need a fancy website because frankly I don’t have the time. Why would I do that and then not be able to maintain it…that level of lack of professionalism would be much more detrimental then the “awful” looking blog you think I have now. There are many different facets of the adult industry, I create and maintain what is in line with my needs, time and future desires.
I have a: twitter, 2 emails, a pornhub account, a FREE blog, 3 clips4sale stores, 2 iwantclip stores, a niteflirt, chatstar, skype sessions, 2 art websites w/multiple contracts…but you think I need to do something else?
L O L O L
And that is just adult work…the amount of responsibilities and things I have to juggle outside this career would shock most. But I don’t need to talk about it. Because it’s my personal business.
I’d like to say I appreciate that so many men want to come forward by first negatively commenting on what I do now and then turning around and trying to offer a free service after is touching…I would. But well I can’t…because it’s not.
In an industry with a burn out rate of 1-3 years and I’m approaching a decade…perhaps one would think I have a handle on my business, what I can handle and how it looks. I know I do, it’s time you did too.
I evolve over time, my business evolves over time…I’ll use the services and hire the people I see fit to have it continue as long as I choose to be in this career.
The last thing I need is another email or tweet about what I should change. From a man…who does not support my business…who is not a woman and has not physically/emotionally/mentally worked in the sex industry.
In all business some may think you should welcome feedback…I sure do on a certain level…from those who PURCHASE and SUPPORT that business. In a private setting that is meant to uplift and encourage more creation. Or to actually BE helpful.
It’s pretty pathetic that I would even think I had to write how one should correctly address someone they look up too, especially in female domination about how they could make their business better.
“hello Goddess, I noticed such and such and thought how wonderful it would be if it matched such and such and I would so love to help if you are interested. I currently love everything you do and will continue to support it either way. thank you Goddess, I sent a tribute for taking up your time to read this”
Now that is something I would entertain.
I’m still here because I really do what I love and put as much time into as I can. No one forced me to do this job and no one is going to force me to do things I don’t have time for, don’t feel ready for or just plain don’t line up with my visions/marketing/goals.
I’m a human being…and I’m on my own journey…taking it at my own pace. I’m not here to live up to your personal standards.
To those who support, revere and love being on this rollercoaster of female domination life with me…thank you. Thank you for understanding that what I have to give is enough and enjoying every stage of change…that it comes at the pace I’m most comfortable with so that I’m giving the best of myself at that time.
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Per my tweet this morning:
“I think (and hope) in my lifetime + time spent in adult industry, that we are reaching open mindedness + acceptance of these important roles”
There is so much more to say about this topic and so many have been speaking out about it lately. I feel it’s an intellectual topic worth discussing. Yes sex and intelligence hand in hand. It can happen. (Does for me every day, but I’m a Goddess remember?)
|synonyms:||respect, admire, honor, think highly of, esteem, hold in high esteem, hold in high regard, look up to, put on a pedestal, lionize, reverence
“she is revered as a national hero”
I know, from my browsing of a recent popular comedians (@margaretcho on twitter) who was speaking out about sex work, that this word (revering) associated with sex work seems to put some people off. Why should we hold in high esteem those who use their bodies sexually to make money?
Well why the hell should we NOT? Sex is a part of our biology, none of us would be here if it did not occur. Why should we treat it as more taboo then what shows up in clips4sale categories? Yes sex can be special, intimate and done with love…or it can be rough, unemotional and hot as fuck. There are so many variations-sex is a rainbow of possibilities. And to appreciate it we need don’t need to like every color-but accept that they are there and others may enjoy them. (smile)
For anyone who’s ever been in the sex industry you know how hard it is to work, entertain and keep a private life normal as well. I like to compare it to people who are in the military and call others civilians-I’ve seen people in adult call those not in adult civilians. (not that I think military work compares to porn-as it does not-so don’t get your panties in a bunch) It’s just something that you either get or you don’t and the lucky ones can empathize or sympathize in some way. (or enjoy the fuck out of porn and not get into the politics of it-shrugs)
People “discover” what the single mother down the street “is doing” and say “ew” or “I can’t believe she’s doing that, what will her child think” etc instead of saying “good for her, she’s providing in the best way she can and her child(s) have everything they need” People go right to work demonizing people in adult instead of realizing sex and it’s services have always been a part of life. Now that it is more readily accessed via the internet and ability to communicate around the world by phone, text and email-then of course opinions fly and people don’t want to see the very thing we condone behind doors when they are closed-consenual sex between willing partners or parties who take part in activities they all enjoy.
Sex work is very empowering to many people. They love to express themselves, feel good and to bring those feelings of Christmas morning or euphoria to others as well. When I try to explain fetish or femdom to some people they just do not get it. I get the side eye or they think I need to tell my clients to seek professional help. (albeit some should that is not my place to say so and I will merely just not partake in something if I feel it’s crossing a healthy fetish boundary) Fetish can be a healing process and helps people cope with feelings they have inside or outside of sexual experiences. Fetish is some peoples therapy. You don’t have to agree, partake or like-but a decent (intelligent) human being should have the capacity to keep an open mind. As always, if you don’t like something, don’t look, don’t read and leave.
Because I’m sure as fuck that I can get you to like something in the fetish world wether you will admit it or not-but I’m sure you can’t give me one good reason why my job isn’t valuable or can be validated.
And I’m not looking for validation. There has been times in my life where my job here made things hard and I tried myself to validate it-I can’t tell people about it and it can be isolating. Like living in Alaska all by yourself and your plain alone. No one knows what you do for work and how passionate you really are about it and educating myself more (and others). It can also be a safety issue as well. Sharing that you are a sex worked all of a sudden makes people think that you have open legs.
Yes this has happened to me. It has also happened that people I thought could not discuss my personal business have started following my online life and told others in an office setting etc. (bank, lawyer etc) If you’ve ever been stalked or harassed in any manner you can get how anxiety inducing this is. The rumors alone online are eye rolling and sometimes worrisome.
Sex work is hard for many reasons. This just touches on a few. I could write in depth about my experiences but hey perhaps I should save that for a book someday with my twin Brooke. (see photo)
Although there can be hard times to maneuver socially, there has been so many lights in my life from being in this industry. So many clients are friends and people I can ask questions or opinions about things or talk about whatever. They have supported my art and encouraged me from day one. That is so valuable to me. I’ve had the ability and financial ability to not be in debt (except my home-which is a goal of mine to pay off sooner then later) and to start my new passion with my horses. They have been amazing at reducing the anxiety in my life. (albeit they are not cheap companions all the help with them from friends here has been a miracle) I have the ability to explore my art-something my entire life I had people telling me to do more with. Being in adult has given me some more free time I may not have with a 9-5 job. That time I’ve used to turn my art into a business which has brought me so many unique opportunities and ability to meet so many unique clients as well.
I truly have the best of both worlds to create art for peoples homes and business around the world as well as exploring the fetish and femdom world. I’ve grown so much as a person and the hard times have became worth it. There is, as life goes, I’m sure many more hard and joyous times ahead. (for your dick too-haHA)
Sex work is work. Sex workers are mothers (fathers), wives (husbands), single people paying for college, your neighbor, family member and most importantly are people with feelings, dreams and desires just like any other human.
Purchasing their services not only allows them to create more, become better at what they do and live a life they love-but to pay for “porn” is giving people the ability to live their lives freely. To choose their own destiny. Like it? Click and enjoy. Don’t? Then fall behind…because the new wave of the written book of humans is the capacity to free and open the mind to all aspects of our lives.
Thank you internet, thank you for those who support me and other sex workers-in person or online. You make a difference-but also please make sure to not treat us like we are something to be used when no one is looking. In proper areas and company support your views, support sex workers rights. Sex work is not going away-neither are the taxes I (or you) pay. So you may want to get use to them both.
Sex work has a huge place in this world. I plan to make it a professional and meaningful experience to the best of my ability.
Enjoy a sex workers hard work today (by purchasing their services and helping them…It’s fun right?
Side Note: People like to bring up those who are forced into sex work and how it relates to consensual sex work when it does not relate in the manner they think it does. People who do sex work out of their own free will are free to make those choices. People who are abducted and forced into it are on a different planet-which is downright horrible and a hideous practice that I myself am committed to bringing the proper awareness too. I keep a special number in my phone to contact if I think anything is suspicious around me. Because even in “normal” American towns-sexual abductions and kidnappings for the sex trade DO happen. Find your local hotline number and keep your eyes open wherever you are. It’s important.
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