Tag Archives: webcam

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WEBCAM QUICK FACTS!

As an online female dominatrix who started as a webcam model, sometimes I like to go back to my roots. Webcam is something I offer at random and do not have a set schedule. Sometimes I’m on 3x in one week and others times I’m not on for 3 months.

Lately with the warmer months I’ve felt more inclined to offer webcam a bit more than I have in the winter. I thought to myself that some “webcam quick facts” would be great for those interested in spending some quality one on one time with me.

Here goes. Reading and comprehension will be your friend here.

  1. WHERE I WEBCAM: I ONLY webcam on the verified sites I’m on. Currently the sites that offer webcam options are: Sextpanther, Loyalfans and iwantclips. I DO NOT webcam ANYWHERE else. Asking is not only against terms of service on each site to take business off site but is also 100% not something I’m interested in. Staying on a verified site protects us both in a variety of ways. Here are my links to each site mentioned above:
    SEXTPANTHER LINK: https://www.sextpanther.com/mistressvictorialynn
    LOYALFANS LINK: https://www.loyalfans.com/mistressvictorialynn
    IWANTCLIPS LINK: https://iwantclips.com/store/2616/MistressVictoria
  2. PATIENCE: When I’m logged into webcam I’m logged into ALL the sites that offer it. Please be patient if I’m not responding as I may already be in a webcam session. If I end up in a longer session I may turn off the lines elsewhere but will turn them back on once I’m available again and I will get back with you as soon as I can.
  3. CONNECTION: Make sure you have a good internet connection. I’m HARD WIRED IN on a DESKTOP. I’m not shouting, I want you to read those words in bold. Therefor if there is a connection issue, it is likely NOT mine. I take my office hours and what I offer seriously. My space is clean, clutter free, pet free, well lighted and ready for my online sessions.
  4. APPEARANCE: When I log online I myself am also presentable. I have my hair done, make up tasteful, a great outfit chosen and I’m feeling in the mood. I make sure I only offer webcam when I truly feel energetically up for it. I want to have a fun intimate time together. Yes I’m a sensual (also bratty, bitchy, demanding so on and so forth) female dominatrix but I truly appreciate those who decide to come underneath my training. I usually am not willing to change into anything else while on webcam. I take videos, photos etc that go along with being online at that time and changing is an interference to the flow and others expectations of what I have on.
  5. OFFICE HOURS: I post on my twitter and website feeds for how long I plan to be online. Usually for durations of anywhere from 2-6 hours. Look at the date and time I posted or the time I sent the mass message etc to see if I’m still around. I do not leave my office hours early unless something personal comes up. I mostly webcam in USA time late morning to early evening. I’m not a night owl and it is quite rare I would be online late. Late being anything past 8pm.
  6. HOW TO CATCH ME: I currently do not tend to accept bookings outside of the times I decide to log on webcam. My life is very busy and full, I have lots of different parts of this business to run and webcam is just a part of that. Once in awhile I try to post a loose schedule I may have for the week or post the night before I plan to be on webcam the next day. I know that is not extremely helpful for preplanning but so much changes in my life day to day that I do not like to flake or disappoint by now showing when I said I would.
  7. PROFESSIONAL: I’m a true professional at this and I really know what I’m doing. I have been online in this realm for 18 years now. I’m great at pacing a session, telling a story and keeping you engaged with the back and forth dance of a good time online. Having a conversation beforehand about what you are into is a great way to ensure we are a good match and for me to be able to start the session off well. Checking out and BUYING my pay to view clips is also the perfect way to get a sense of my style, voice and how I like to play before jumping into a webcam show.
  8. NON NUDE or NUDE: I decide when I want to have less clothing on, on webcam, or not. It is not a huge focus of mine to get naked but I also have no issue with nudity overall and this is not a classist choice. Though I’m not someone who is tossing my outfit off one minute into a session. I’m much more into the element of the tease, denial, tease some more. The longing. The ache. The desire. The gorgeous outfit I picked out and how I use it to tease. Nudity is a beautiful part of the human body and experience but I do not always think it is needed in a session. I know when to use it as a tool and only want to do so when I feel like it. It’s much more intimate that way.
  9. ONLY ONE ON ONE: I do not live stream to a group in the sense I’m not live on a site streaming to whoever wants to come into the chat room. (such as live stream on myfreecams or loyalfans where they have that option) I prefer one on one interactions and as an introvert, group situations tend to more overwhelming to me than fun. Therefor when you webcam with me it is just you and I, no one else is viewing.
  10. PRICE: My webcam rate is $10/minute. It has always been this way. I have not raised it and the price is the same on each site I’m on. No I do not offer discounts.
  11. CONCLUSION: I may update this from time to time. If you have any questions as always the best way to get ahold of me is via the websites I’m verified on. The fastest way for a response is via Sextpanther, Loyalfans , clips4sale new chat system and niteflirt (niteflirt does not have a webcam option). (rates are the same on every site) These sites have a built in messaging system that has a set message rate. It’s a great way to chat easily, I can tell you are serious about my time and so I check those sites first. Onlyfans and iwantclips I also respond too but takes me a little longer to set up PTV responses there. I do not chat for free, those who respect my time and boundaries will have no issues making sure they are set up to correspond with me correctly. All those links are in my pinned tweet on twitter aka X: https://x.com/MissVikkiLynn

    PS: I do not offer services other than legal services that are within terms of services (TOS) on the sites I’m a part of online. I do not tour, sugar baby or anything of the like. I never have done so and any ads or photos used to advertise that are stolen. Please also note I do not pass any judgement for that mode of work and find it lovely for those who decide to connect that way, I’m simply stating it as a fact because there is a lot of censorship regarding it.
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Phone Call Etiquette-A MUST read!

Good day everyone!

I’ve been thinking about getting back to blogging lately and what a perfect way to do so by writing up a little note about phone call etiquette. After a few phone calls lately where it sounded like the client was in a wind tunnel/underwater or just plain incoherent-I felt it important to perhaps saw a few helpful words and advice. How I see it anyways. I know many of you become a bit nervous or apprehensive to call me as you unsure how it will go, what you will say etc. Fear not as I’m about to share some steps with you that will help you get over the jitters. Maybe…

  1. Make sure you have a quiet space to call from so that you can talk at a normal level, without mumbling or whispering incoherently. I understand sometimes calls are made discreetly at work or home where others are but just try to talk CLEARLY. Or else it is really difficult for me to respond CORRECTLY. Do we want to be forced to suck cock or want some simple JOI? Lets stay in the turned on lane and not the oh god what have I done lane.
  2. Choose the amount of time you think you may want to speak to me (or whomever else) for. Have the adequate amount of money deposited. (more can be added if you want to talk longer the call just may be disconnected!)
  3. Think about what you may want to talk about or ask me. Why are you calling? What is the meaning of life?
  4. You may want to email or message me to set up a time or plan to just try and connect with me when you see me online.
  5. You can go to any of these websites to call me: niteflirt profile: https://www.niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn iwantclips profile: https://iwantclips.com/phone/store/2616/MistressVictoria sextpanther profile: https://www.sextpanther.com/MistressVictoriaLynn or loyalfans profile: https://www.loyalfans.com/mistressvictorialynn and choose which phone line you want to call.
  6. Take a deep breathe and dial.
  7. Wonder if I will even answer and start to panic.
  8. You cant believe this is happening right now and you may need your inhaler.
  9. I answer and say “hello, how are you?”
  10. you say for example: “Hi my name is kittyMcMuffin and I’ve been a fan for awhile of you JOI videos. I would love if you could give me some instruction today?”
  11. OR you say for example: “Hi, I would love to casually chat for a bit before getting more into my fetish, is that okay?”
  12. OR you say for example: “Hi I just want to give you $1000 and hang up, thank you for existing”
  13. We chat, we get to know each other better, you get off (maybe) and before you go you say “Wow, thank you, I appreciated the time you spent with me today”
  14. Both NF and IWC will alert both parties when there is one minute remaining. I keep talking after this same as before, no need to actually respond to this auto message or be interrupted by it. On with the flow.
  15. I say “you are welcome” and you hang up. Or run out of money. Whichever comes first.
  16. Then you send a tribute after if you feel so inclined and plan the next time you are going to call me as you go on with your day with thoughts of me inside your head just as it should be.

That was not too hard was it? Any fellow providers have any advice to add to this? I’ll add it below here with a link to your twitter. CLIENTS respond to the blog post ON TWITTER and tell me your thoughts.

Thank you for stopping by and perhaps you will get the bright idea to call me SOON and we can have a little chat mkay?

-MistressVictoria



 

All My Creative Links:

ONLYFANS: Fan Club with DAILY videos, photos and audios: https://onlyfans.com/mistressvictorialynn…

IWANTCLIPS: PTV VIDEOS and AUDIOS, CUSTOM VIDEO FORM, PHONE CALLS and WEBCAM:  https://iwantclips.com/store/2616/MistressVictoria…

SEXTPANTHER: Texting, Pictures, Phone Calls, Webcam: https://sextpanther.com/MistressVictoriaLynn…

NITEFLIRT: Texting, Phones Calls and SOON WEBCAM (august 2026): https://niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

CLIPS4SALE: PTV VIDEOS and AUDIOS, Custom Videos and Texting: https://clips4sale.com/studio/75307

LOYALFANS: Texting, Phone Calls, Webcam, PTV VIDEOS and AUDIOS and DAILY EDGING FANCLUB https://www.loyalfans.com/mistressvictorialynn

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Revering Women (and Men) in Adult Entertainment

Per my tweet this morning:

“I think (and hope) in my lifetime + time spent in adult industry, that we are reaching open mindedness + acceptance of these important roles”

There is so much more to say about this topic and so many have been speaking out about it lately. I feel it’s an intellectual topic worth discussing. Yes sex and intelligence hand in hand. It can happen. (Does for me every day, but I’m a Goddess remember?)

Definition of REVERING– feel deep respect or admiration for (something).
“Cézanne’s still lifes were revered by his contemporaries”
synonyms: respect, admire, honor, think highly of, esteem, hold in high esteem, hold in high regard, look up to, put on a pedestal, lionize, reverence

“she is revered as a national hero”

I know, from my browsing of a recent popular comedians (@margaretcho on twitter) who was speaking out about sex work, that this word (revering) associated with sex work seems to put some people off. Why should we hold in high esteem those who use their bodies sexually to make money?

Well why the hell should we NOT? Sex is a part of our biology, none of us would be here if it did not occur. Why should we treat it as more taboo then what shows up in clips4sale categories? Yes sex can be special, intimate and done with love…or it can be rough, unemotional and hot as fuck. There are so many variations-sex is a rainbow of possibilities. And to appreciate it we need don’t need to like every color-but accept that they are there and others may enjoy them. (smile)

Photo on 5-14-15 at 12.17 PM #3

For anyone who’s ever been in the sex industry you know how hard it is to work, entertain and keep a private life normal as well. I like to compare it to people who are in the military and call others civilians-I’ve seen people in adult call those not in adult civilians. (not that I think military work compares to porn-as it does not-so don’t get your panties in a bunch) It’s just something that you either get or you don’t and the lucky ones can empathize or sympathize in some way. (or enjoy the fuck out of porn and not get into the politics of it-shrugs)

People “discover” what the single mother down the street “is doing” and say “ew” or “I can’t believe she’s doing that, what will her child think” etc instead of saying “good for her, she’s providing in the best way she can and her child(s) have everything they need” People go right to work demonizing people in adult instead of realizing sex and it’s services have always been a part of life. Now that it is more readily accessed via the internet and ability to communicate around the world by phone, text and email-then of course opinions fly and people don’t want to see the very thing we condone behind doors when they are closed-consenual sex between willing partners or parties who take part in activities they all enjoy.

Sex work is very empowering to many people. They love to express themselves, feel good and to bring those feelings of Christmas morning or euphoria to others as well. When I try to explain fetish or femdom to some people they just do not get it.  I get the side eye or they think I need to tell my clients to seek professional help. (albeit some should that is not my place to say so and I will merely just not partake in something if I feel it’s crossing a healthy fetish boundary) Fetish can be a healing process and helps people cope with feelings they have inside or outside of sexual experiences. Fetish is some peoples therapy. You don’t have to agree, partake or like-but a decent (intelligent) human being should have the capacity to keep an open mind. As always, if you don’t like something, don’t look, don’t read and leave.

Because I’m sure as fuck that I can get you to like something in the fetish world wether you will admit it or not-but I’m sure you can’t give me one good reason why my job isn’t valuable or can be validated.

And I’m not looking for validation. There has been times in my life where my job here made things hard and I tried myself to validate it-I can’t tell people about it and it can be isolating. Like living in Alaska all by yourself and your plain alone. No one knows  what you do for work and how passionate you really are about it and educating myself more (and others). It can also be a safety issue as well. Sharing that you are a sex worked all of a sudden makes people think that you have open legs.

Yes this has happened to me. It has also happened that people I thought could not discuss my personal business have started following my online life and told others in an office setting etc. (bank, lawyer etc) If you’ve ever been stalked or harassed in any manner you can get how anxiety inducing this is. The rumors alone online are eye rolling and sometimes worrisome.

Sex work is hard for many reasons. This just touches on a few. I could write in depth about my experiences but hey perhaps I should save that for a book someday with my twin Brooke. (see photo)

Although there can be hard times to maneuver socially, there has been so many lights in my life from being in this industry. So many clients are friends and people I can ask questions or opinions about things or talk about whatever. They have supported my art and encouraged me from day one. That is so valuable to me. I’ve had the ability and financial ability to not be in debt (except my home-which is a goal of mine to pay off sooner then later) and to start my new passion with my horses. They have been amazing at reducing the anxiety in my life. (albeit they are not cheap companions all the help with them from friends here has been a miracle) I have the ability to explore my art-something my entire life I had people telling me to do more with. Being in adult has given me some more free time I may not have with a 9-5 job. That time I’ve used to turn my art into a business which has brought me so many unique opportunities and ability to meet so many unique clients as well.

I truly have the best of both worlds to create art for peoples homes and business around the world as well as exploring the fetish and femdom world. I’ve grown so much as a person and the hard times have became worth it. There is, as life goes, I’m sure many more hard and joyous times ahead. (for your dick too-haHA)

CP3ACsUWsAAT_76

Sex work is work. Sex workers are mothers (fathers), wives (husbands), single people paying for college, your neighbor, family member and most importantly are people with feelings, dreams and desires just like any other human.

Purchasing their services not only allows them to create more, become better at what they do and live a life they love-but to pay for  “porn” is giving people the ability to live their lives freely. To choose their own destiny. Like it? Click and enjoy. Don’t? Then fall behind…because the new wave of the written book of humans is the capacity to free and open the mind to all aspects of our lives.

Thank you internet, thank you for those who support me and other sex workers-in person or online. You make a difference-but also please make sure to not treat us like we are something to be used when no one is looking. In proper areas and company support your views, support sex workers rights. Sex work is not going away-neither are the taxes I (or you) pay. So you may want to get use to them both.

Sex work has a huge place in this world. I plan to make it a professional and meaningful experience to the best of my ability.

Enjoy a sex workers hard work today (by purchasing their services and helping them…It’s fun right?

Cheers

MV

Side Note: People like to bring up those who are forced into sex work and how it relates to consensual sex work when it does not relate in the manner they think it does. People who do sex work out of their own free will are free to make those choices. People who are abducted and forced into it are on a different planet-which is downright horrible and a hideous practice that I myself am committed to bringing the proper awareness too. I keep a special number in my phone to contact if I think anything is suspicious around me. Because even in “normal” American towns-sexual abductions and kidnappings for the sex trade DO happen. Find your local hotline number and keep your eyes open wherever you are. It’s important. 

All My Creative Links-Customs, calls, clips, texting, art:

Fan Club onlyfans.com/mistressvictor

Clips, Customs, Call iwantclips.com/store/2616/Mis

Text/Call sextpanther.com/MistressVictor

Call/Chat niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

Clips clips4sale.com/studio/75307

Clips/Customs/Art manyvids.com/Feed/MistressV

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you see Me…

CPydtgJWwAAhkT7 CPr6rvnW8AA_RQ2 But do I see you? Have you reached out? Made yourself known? Dipped into my clips? Purchased a custom video? Send a tribute? If you’ve done nothing then how can you serve Me and make yourself a better submissive by being selfless…for Me.

All My Creative Links:

ONLYFANS: Fan Club https://onlyfans.com/mistressvictorialynn…

IWANTCLIPS: VIDEOS AUDIOS CUSTOMS PHONE CALLS  https://iwantclips.com/store/2616/MistressVictoria…

SEXTPANTHER: Webcam, Phone Calls, Texting, Audios https://sextpanther.com/MistressVictoriaLynn…

NITEFLIRT: Text or Call https://niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

CLIPS4SALE: VIDEOS and AUDIOS https://clips4sale.com/studio/75307

MANYVIDS: VIDEOS and AUDIOS  https://manyvids.com/Feed/MistressVictoria/1004340444

LOYALFANS: VIDEOS and AUDIOS and FANCLUB https://www.loyalfans.com/mistressvictorialynn

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a submissives words to his muse

[5/26/15, 2:29:04 PM] BVW: i say this with more sincerity than I know how to communicate at this distance, but when i tell you that YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE OBJECT OF MY DESIRE, I mean it. from the curves in your hip, to the varying level of playfulness in your octaves…to the way its all controlled by a very wicked, disciplined and creative mind, you are my QUEEN OF FANTASY and I have always, and will continue to carry you on an elite pedestal far above the noise and numbers. thank you.

All My Creative Links:

ONLYFANS: Fan Club https://onlyfans.com/mistressvictorialynn…

IWANTCLIPS: VIDEOS AUDIOS CUSTOMS PHONE CALLS  https://iwantclips.com/store/2616/MistressVictoria…

SEXTPANTHER: Webcam, Phone Calls, Texting, Audios https://sextpanther.com/MistressVictoriaLynn…

NITEFLIRT: Text or Call https://niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

CLIPS4SALE: VIDEOS and AUDIOS https://clips4sale.com/studio/75307

MANYVIDS: VIDEOS and AUDIOS  https://manyvids.com/Feed/MistressVictoria/1004340444

LOYALFANS: VIDEOS and AUDIOS and FANCLUB https://www.loyalfans.com/mistressvictorialynn

burn out, cam girl tip, cam girl tip tuesday

Cam Girl Tip Tuesday 4-Spreading Yourself Too Thin

One thing that being on the internet as a web cam/adult model does it provide you with this mass array of other people doing similar things to what you are through the reaches of social media and viewing them live on cam.
You start to see what so and so is doing, what time she is working, how often she posts new videos and what new site she just joined last week to peddle her wares.
You start thinking to yourself…I could do that. I could sign up there. I could make more monetary income if I had my videos on X, Y and Z sites. What if I started doing this, or that, how about… Wait.

This could be true. But you need to stop and think about your time as well. Is it worth a few extra hundred a month to make sure you have the same videos uploaded, where on another site you are making 10x’s that? To some it may be. To me it came down to the fact I was spreading myself too thin in too many areas on too many sites. Or could I just concentrate on a few things and maybe use that time I wasn’t uploading to make some more content, be live on cam or hell…relax?! Yay.

I also asked my followers before, it was quite some time ago-a year or more, if having my videos on more than one site was confusing and turned them away as they were then confused where I was, which video was where etc. And 95% said yes. Now in the end of course us women running a business should do whats best for ourselves, but we also need to listen to those who are supporting that business as well.

In the end you only know what is best for you. But if you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off (so to speak) feeling tired all the time, anxious, stressed. This person wants that from you, hey join my new site. AHHHH. That can get really hard fast and hello burn out. No one wants to feel burnt out.

In the end you need to do what you enjoy, if you are not enjoying something anymore then re evaluate what you are doing and look for ways to reinvent yourself. Take time for you. You are important. At the end of the day the balance of your bank account may be important to feed, clothe and house yourself…but it does not emulate your worth. Be worthy of knowing what is best for yourself.

All My Creative Links-Customs, calls, clips, texting, art:

Fan Club https://onlyfans.com/mistressvictorialynn…

Clips, Customs, Call https://iwantclips.com/store/2616/MistressVictoria…

Text/Call https://sextpanther.com/MistressVictoriaLynn…

Call/Chat https://niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

Clips https://clips4sale.com/studio/75307

Clips/Customs/Art https://manyvids.com/Feed/MistressVictoria/1004340444

adult model, behind the scenes, blogger, comedy, custom videos, missvikki, periods

A 10 minute video does not take me….10 minutes.

I think when people see a certain price charged for a custom video, or a pre recorded clip they think “that is expensive”. Well sure, but expensive and quality usually run hand in hand if you know what you are looking for.

When I go to create a custom video for example, I’ve sat down, read the email, thought about if it would be a good match for my own interests and comfort level. Then once I agree to it, making sure payment is made and carving out the perfect time to record. No outside or inside noise interference, having the right lighting, right atmosphere, the correct props, make up done, hair done, lotion applied, all skin smooth, nails done, recording room clean, computer working, cam working, sound working and in the correct out fit and making sure I hit all points in the video that one has purchased.

By now, these things alone, have taken me at least 2-4 hours depending on if I needed to order something specific, set up a different area to record in etc.

Now I’m finally in front of my computer and ready to record…Then I hear a plane overhead…So I wait. Now it’s gone. Then my sun light changes. Waiting again. Oh now I’m thirsty and I need to re apply my chap stick, lip stick and lip gloss. Oh shit is that a tampon string hanging out of my panties?

(that was just for a laugh, if you are grossed out, read this:)

Moving on. Finally I’m pressing start. Right next to the video or written on a piece of paper (oh another step I forgot to include up there!) are certain lines, phrases, points of interest I need to hit to make sure the video turns out how it is suppose too. So while I’m recording I need to make sure this all flows how it is suppose too. I need to not mess up while talking, choke on my own breathe or spit (yes this happens HAHA) and say everything I’m suppose too.

This all requires being in a certain frame of mind overall. One can not record if sad, upset or raging PMS. Well, maybe some girls do, but I make sure I’m really feeling what I’m about to do so that it’s the best of me. Of course, I’m always reading new books, articles, forums etc to learn anything I can about my interests in kink, fetish and erotica. I’m all about self education.

Moving on again. I’m finally done, maybe I had to stop and start over sometimes because of noise I cant control (fucking lawn mowers!!) or the video system itself decided to take a vacation. (pouty face) or I forgot to say the persons name…or I said the wrong name. Yikes. haha.

Finally…finally I’m really done now and I watch the video, make sure I did everything I was suppose too and then send it on it’s merry way to the new owners. Then I wait eagerly to make sure the person liked it (yes I do care, shocker!) I like to know you received your video and that you enjoyed it. That does not include a photo of your dicklet. Thank you.

I’ve also been in the adult world since April 2008, so I’ve been perfecting my craft for 7+ years now. That also comes into play with how I record and make sure I’m putting out great videos and new ideas.

It really took me about 3-5 hours to read, prep and accomplish your custom 10 minute video.
The End.

All My Creative Links-Customs, calls, clips, texting, art:

Fan Club onlyfans.com/mistressvictor

Clips, Customs, Call iwantclips.com/store/2616/Mis

Text/Call sextpanther.com/MistressVictor

Call/Chat niteflirt.com/MissVikkiLynn

Clips clips4sale.com/studio/75307

Clips/Customs/Art manyvids.com/Feed/MistressV

adult entertainer, adult industry, comedy, porn, truth

Things you should be prepared for when you enter the adult online industry…

You think you have a little secret. Since you are on the internet, maybe using a different name, who is going to know it’s you? That wig from the local chop shop hair store will help, along with those smokey bedroom eyes. Right?

W.R.O.N.G.

Prepare yourself. Grandma may find out. Daddy’s little girl is going to take on an entire new meaning. And the kid you went to high school with who never spoke 10 words to you in the 4 years you spent in the same building, all of a sudden asks you to hang out-10 years after you’ve left high school. (*raises eyebrow -pukes in nearest trash can-)

Some people are not going to be okay with your new found nudist camp. Myfreecams. Streamate. Camwithher etc. Or that anyone on gods green earth has access to what some people think is the most intimate thing of your entire being. Your naked body. Your willingness to tease, taunt and make a living off erotica. You may lose a few friends, you may gain some others. Keep yourself around open minded people, be what makes you happy. The strong survive regardless of this…but there are other factors.

Are you okay with someone else probably telling your parents/friends/work colleagues what you do online? Because let me tell you. The vindictiveness of other girls in the industry can be highly worse than an over zealous fan. Be careful who you chose to share yourself with, I don’t (only) mean “customers”. I mean those other girls who want to befriend you. There could be multiple reasons for so. Spreading your personal information. “Stealing” (or trying too) your supporters. Getting to know you to in turn try to air your dirty laundry and make you out to be some vagabond. Spreading false lies to in turn gain something for themselves.

Canter around social media sites, a girls chat room etc. How long has she been around? Does she seem to play nicely with other females? Who else has she worked with on cam/in adult? (and what do you know about those people) Cross reference. Research. Does she have frequent mental break downs for the entire world to see? Yikes. Hide your kids, hide your wife! Not everyone you think is a good friend, is indeed a good friend. Use common sense. Mind your own business. I mean that in many ways. Mind your own BUSINESS, so it grows. The more positive you are and careful who you surround yourself with for support and collaboration the better off you will be. Don’t let negative people suck you energy or motivation. Doing so, the more successful you will be. And when you think you’ve found a chocolate chip (friend) and instead it’s a raisin (foe) you can learn that lesson and be more careful. Hint: I had to learn this lesson.

That being said, there are still great women/men in the adult industry and I’ve learned to surround myself with those that are positive, uplifting and willing to make this career-even with all it’s extra things to consider-work out. Once you’ve been on the internet for awhile you kind of learn a 6th sense. I don’t even have to talk to someone to read their vibe-over the internet. I can just tell. Treed carefully when you are starting and work on you and your business. Take care of you and yours. Everything else is irrelevant.

Neigh Neigh.

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Dating when you are an adult model …. :O

While talking with KittyWilde, AedanRayne and Lolli the other day on twitter the conversation was brought up to tell a person you are dating that you are in the adult industry and whatever comes along with that conversation…

Lots of people commented on this and I read a handful…I saw mostly non industry people saying to “tell them right away! why hide the truth!” “be honest and up front so you know they can handle it” “they may not trust you if you don’t tell them right away” and so on and so forth.

Then I saw a mixed review from some industry people but KittyWilde and Lolli came close to how I feel on this subject. And yes I have dated a handful of people during my time in the adult industry and feel (haughty haughty nose in the air) that I can gauge a good opinion on the situation.

I have had a wide range of reactions from people. Let me start with one where I was in a steady ish relationship and lived with the person so they were to know naturally. We knew each other well enough that is was something we assimilated into our lives rather than let get between us in any way. Long story short, it turned out fine, the person was apprehensive but curious in many ways…lets stop there. haha.

Moving on to another person I dated (again) that I had known since a young teenager. It was a reaction of “Why don’t you do something else, like your art?” but he was perfectly fine with the money I made and spent on him or whatever we decided to go and do. It’s okay sugar mamma for now but give it up someday okay? Dick… fuck you 🙂

*I’ve never been one to have a guy tell ME what to do LOL shocking huh? I just would break up with them. If I’m not the center of attention and in control you can trot on out of the arena*

This one is good…I casually dated a piano player. Good times we were both artistic so it was fun. But I had ideas that he was having relations with his ex gf on the other side of the state when he went home and even though we were never close to being official I don’t share. He thought it was great and would show pictures of me to all his friends… yay? Not so much. At the time I ignored it. Now I would be like my business is my business and if I share with you, you don’t share with all your friends. I will call this “I feel like a cool guy syndrome” Not the biggest fan of that.

I will end with one last guy I dated very briefly and you will see why. He could call me a prostitute (he did not mean that in a nice way) one minute (of which I have nothing against this type of adult but honestly have never done) and than the next he loved me so much and wanted to stay the night. What? Now I can laugh, at the time it was very confusing and emotionally damaging to be treated so bi polar in that manner. I cut all things off with him as he also had a drinking problem that would spur his meanness on as well. None of these things I knew about beforehand but found out very quickly. And left.

So there you have it, four people I dated in the past 7 years. I don’t do much dating these days. Mostly focused on center and taking care of my own. But the reactions from people vary drastically. From cool let me show all my friends, to you are a whore but lets be together…sometimes…all the time…you prostitute you!

Before I leave here, I will touch on the comments of the non industry people. First off, telling someone on the first, second or third date that you are in adult is pretty presumptuous. You don’t know each other that well, how do you  know he isn’t some serial killer or will stalk you if the dates don’t continue? Or tell all his friends about your private life. Neither of these situations benefit you.

Maybe the best conversation starter would be “Do you like porn” you know…if you decide to enter the bedroom together. Gauge how he feels about that and what he likes to watch.

Shut the fuck up, don’t be coy. Most people these days are fucking before they even get out of whatever place they met at. (I don’t do that. Never have never will because I like a healthy vagina) I even know people who ask a potential partner for a clean STD test before entering into sexual relations. (not a bad idea at all) But this is not about that. SO. Asking about porn if you are sexually active with someone should not be embarrassing. Especially if you’ve had their dick in your mouth.

Secondly telling someone on the first, second or third date about such a “taboo and sometimes touchy subject” you don’t know each other well, there is no basis for he or she to stay with you if they are on the fence. Would probably still go sour fast without any grounding to explore and see how things would work out.

Lets have a fake (reality based) conversation for a minute. First date. Girl does porn.
Woman: Hey just want to let you know, I’m in porn, I have sex for a living. Is this okay?
Multiple Answers.
Man Answer 1. Wow, yes, perfectly fine, no worries at all. (man in back of his mind, I can’t wait to see where this goes tonight, caaachoowww, going to tell allllll my friends! maybe even my mama!)
Man Answer 2. Um, well, my family is Catholic. I’m celibate till marriage… (Goes to bathroom and never returns)
Man Answers 3. Oh my god she probably has AIDS! (no I don’t think this of industry people but most non industry people are very naive that performers are tested every TWO WEEKS! Results are shared on a private date base and any issues are taken care of. When was the last time you were tested?)
Man Answer 4. Wow, can I see some of your work, so beautiful. What’s your five year plan? Marriage? Kids? (you can take this as creepy or genuine interest)

Let me tell you, most likely you are going to get the first three answers when you don’t know someone well at all.

I think you should have a steady 6-10 dates under your belt and maybe a good sex romp or two before bringing it up. (Show them a clean STD test! Yay for responsibility!) I do NOT think not letting such information lose right away is lying. If someone understands and knows where you are coming from at all they will completely understand that your safety and privacy come first over someone you do not know very well. And I know most you girls (maybe guys) have a good background story you tell most people who ask about your work. For me I would simply say I’m an artist.

I don’t believe hiding behind a veil forever because you are in adult is healthy but it is the cold hard truth that telling people such sensitive information can lead to reprocussions. Even just friends. I had a girl friend (case in point-that I did not now very long) who was totally cool with it when I told her and than 6 months later tells me GOD LOVES ME and I don’t have to do “this”.

By the way that is my favorite meme of all time. *laughs so hard*

The moral of this story is to choose your timing wisely. Surround yourself with positive, understanding and open minded people. I grew up in a religious home so what I do is very off the beaten path compared to what family would have preferred to see. But they love me just the same and my friends have stayed by my side throughout everything and I’ve learned to date and stay with someone who loves ME and isn’t here for my income, the sex or “who I’m online”. Know that a person can be that for you, before sharing everything.

That is my 2 cents and I’m sticking it in my piggy bank… Ciao!

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Cam Girl Tip Tuesday

Welcome to a new series on my blog! Every Tuesday I’m going to give cam/adult models tips I’ve learned over the years. I can’t give it all away but I can share a little bit *wink

Complaining.Bitching.Whining.
C O N S T A N T E L Y
Is horrible for your own self esteem and your business.
Everyone has a bad day BUT to tote about it on twitter on the daily is going to lose you credibility. Contrary to popular belief on social media, you do.not.need.to.share.EVERYTHING!

There are many days and many instances in my life that I would love to have a social media breakdown. Or even here on my blog. I even go so far as to type entire blogs out that I than delete because I realize that is not who I want to be. Being positive in the face of adversity will help you climb out of whatever hole you are in much faster than being negative. This is something I work on and evolve even for myself. BE POSITIVE. Not every day is going to be a good day, personally, publicly or on cam. Realize that is the time, hour, day or maybe a week or month that you need to regroup inside your mind and protect your mental health.

Remember why people come to see you online. They want a break from their own day or their own reality for a little while. YOU are the entertainment they choose to follow, support and spend maybe their hard earned fun money on. If you are not being fun, that fun money probably won’t come your way long. Maybe at first in a way of pity but in the long run people will find someone else who has a smile, a positive message and a good attitude to latch onto. Positivity ATTRACTS people, ideas and general awesomeness.

So get out there, be positive, take days off when you need and always think “Do I need to post that my BMW has a scratch wah wah wah?!” when I could leave that out and say “LOVE YOU GUYS THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!” and your followers will smile as you both had a positive impact on each others days. yay! *highs fives you all*

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