Tag Archives: adult writer

I’m a real human and a sex worker, adult worker, porn star, femdom guru.

It seems that this should not be a sentence I have to mesh together. Yet there is this huge void in peoples minds that justifies their words or actions because someone holds a taboo job gives them the means to ridicule, cut down or flat out verbally destroy someone via the internet.

I’ve been desiring to make a blog post about this for awhile. I’ve had these experiences for 9 years of being online in adult work but lately some fresh instances have given me a bit of a drive to sit down and really have a talk about it. (Please RT this post!)

Here look at these attachments. My twin Brooke today was the receiver of an unfortunate chain of events. Which fueled my fire yet again to write this. Take a look:

I’m not even sure where to start?

Firstly this video was most likely stolen and posted on a website that Brooke did not give permission for it to be there. Then it was sent to someone to post and make “funny” cracks at for their own deranged amusement.

I’ve seen situations like this get out of hand quickly.  Personal privacy breached, adult content put on a site where 18 and under can see it easier and to state the obvious that people have killed themselves over comments on the internet-THIS IS YET ANOTHER FORM OF CYBER BULLYING.
Just because you are behind a keyboard does not mean that your words are not harmful. (don’t worry Brooke is not upset but has reminded herself why she never reads comments)

In just a few comments she was called a bitch, a fucktard and other things. What an absolutely fowl way to describe a women you saw once in a video…that you know nothing about. Who was not harming anyone or anything. Who had her content stolen that was paid for by a client. you should all be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself this way.

Now Brooke and I have been online for almost a decade and fully aware that these type of situations happen so are not going to be a part of the statistics that commit suicide over it. Still a valid point to bring up in my opinion.

Secondly the comments of Daddy should be proud and all this other stuff. WHAT? lol >_< (laughing while cringing) why did you bring her parents up into this business? They have nothing to do with her adult life. Hey PS they know and it’s not an issue. Thanks for your concern. They are proud of the people they know we are past the job we chose. Can’t say the same for your parents if they saw you posting on this video ripping a young attractive girl apart for no reason.

She sure as fuck did not make that video for you. Actually a PAYING customer did though. Someone who respects her work and the validity of sex work in our society.

and she sure is fuck is not going to go start tanning because you think her skin is too pale for your liking. (get over yourself you twat pale skin is beautiful-tanning causes cancer)

Thirdly the majority of the comments are a negative bash while bringing a sexist vibe alluding to them jerking off to the “disgusting” video. Hmm. I don’t know but I’m not laughing.

A woman can be respected no matter her life choices being that of a sex worker. Many of my clients have the utmost respect for me. In privacy they tell me that bringing their fantasies to life has been immensely helpful. I make sure my clients are using my services as responsible as possible. Can’t say the same for a lot of conglomerate companies…but since a women is showing her body by her own choice for some reason men feel the need act as you see above.

The least other humans can do is make sure the words they are typing out are helpful and not harmful. I feel like I’m talking to a five year old right now. Think before you type/act/spew word diarrhea. “Are you words being helpful or harmful?”

Kudos and brownie points to the few on this post who said something positive or showed their credibility by speaking up for this women in the video.

This woman is a real person. A real person who I bet you did not think would see all your comments eh?

Sex workers are people with lives beyond what they do. Beyond the product they produce. We have families, hobbies, goals, dreams, illnesses, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, happiness, pets, children and lives just like yours. Yet the majority of sex workers I know are amazing people who have such compassion for others. Who are giving back behind the scenes to charities, family member and friends. All while being dissected under a microscope of hate.

There is positive vibes in sex work-the media just does not want you to see it.

Through sex work I have been able to explore hobbies I’d never have the time or income to do if I was working a 9-5. I’ve started other businesses. I give back monthly to people I know and do not know in any way I can. I’ve re habbed horses and found them better homes. An expense that never gives back financially. I’m able to provide myself with self care-mental health therapist, massages, quiet no work days, time spent in nature if I need etc. I could keep going but I’m sure those with a brain get the point.

Thank you to those who realize we are human. That sex work is work and that what we all can bring to the table can be life changing. Not only for ourselves but for our clients.

For inside the fact that we as sex workers are not widely accepted in society-but our services are widely used-we have found acceptance to be something we are incredibly good at.

I’ll accept that you like being called a doggie and spanked with a bottle up your ass if you’ll accept that I’m a person-just like you.

MV

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Communicating Interests

The other day I tweeted asking for ideas about blogs you all feel would be interesting! I always like hearing what you would like to know more about. Below Kelle expresses her interest in hearing more about communicating your interests in adult work.  So lets call this an “Interesting Inquisitions” type of blog series.

IMG_8936Great question!

Many people are socially awkward in person and much better online via email. Or really great in person but really horrible online.  Or on rare occasions you can have someone that is great at both things! (me! or least I can pretend to be good at both…yay acting!)

Either way, here we are, online-so let’s talk about that.

When someone emails me it’s so great when they start with addressing me, introducing themselves and what they are interested in purchasing.  Because in all honesty that is what the prime focus is for me having an email address that I share. The email (at the height of it’s greatness) should resemble something like this:

“Hello Miss Victoria,

I’m a big fan of your work for quite some time and have been purchasing it for awhile. I’m truly interested in a custom video that includes ass worship, cei and some light humiliation. I’m looking for it to be around 10 minutes and or spend X amount at this time. If you are available to produce this desired content for me I would be very thankful. I will patiently await further communication.

Sincerely, -submissive joe”

See does not have to be extremely detailed to start (or even submissive in nature if you are not into that), starting the wave of communication is the second most important part…

What is the first? Why am I doing this backwards?

because that is what most people do… (lol sigh)

FIRST, the most important part of communicating with an online producer that you want to support is reading their blog and or website for information that helps you make a decisions. That is why they have it there. (well it’s why I do at least) My blog for example on custom videos outlines prices, things I’m into, things I’m not into, scene locations etc.

The first and foremost worst thing you can do after reading my blog is emailing me saying: “I know you said you don’t do x, y and x but since you did before in your clip store a few years ago I’m wondering if you’ll -que insane long email with insanely detailed script containing things I already quite clearly said I’m not into doing-

No. No I won’t. Now you’ve just wasted my time, my brain space and capacity to put my neurons towards other uses. I do not, I repeat I do not have to explain to you my choices of why I don’t do things on the no list etc. It’s not your business.

Read my blog/website…learn a little bit about me and what I’m currently about…this will insure that you receive timely responses to the emails you send and a video I can agree to produce that tickles both our fancies.

Many producers receive a lot of emails, it’s helpful but not necessary to send a small token or appreciation when emailing. A tribute or gift card somewhere. This shows that you are indeed serious about a custom video, skype session, clothing purchase etc. I’m not all about nickle and diming people BUT sometimes it can get really daunting for a producer to respond to so many emails that never come to anything. One attached with a tribute can get a lot faster attention.

-attaching said tribute does not make you an alpha god, please act accordingly-as in not like a pompous asshole-

This really is not rocket science but I do admit that some of us don’t think the same as others who may be more adept at communication. I’ve just been doing this for 9 years so to be things appear plain as day but for someone else quite murky. I hope you find this helpful. If you have further ideas you think would add to this blog posting leave a comment in the section below!

To sum this up, read about the producer, coordinate email with introduction, body, signature and be oh so thankful we all here in this industry like to cater to your kinks. 😉

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Finding Humor in Adult Work

The other day I tweeted asking for ideas about blogs you all feel would be interesting! I always like hearing what you would like to know more about.  Below Jay expresses his interest in hearing more about humor in adult work.  So lets call this an “Interesting Inquisitions” type of blog series.

IMG_8937I think you NEED a sense of humor to stay in this career path. When dealing with the delicate nature of sex and humanity there are lots of things that can go right…and lots of things that can go wrong. The ability to kind of laugh, take a joke or let things roll off you is important. Therefore you need humor in this industry to stay sane (or some version of sane)  Many speak about getting a “tough skin” being in a business that sells beauty.

Though I like to think (and believe) that it’s not just about beauty here, it’s about brains too. (if you plan to survive that is)

For example just today I and countless other online sex workers received an email about how horrible we are, that we need to repent and are whores. So…there is that…and then there is me laughing. What a way to inspire me for a future clip. -golf clap- LOL

I think humor is very sexy. If you can’t make me laugh long term we probably won’t be talking long. Whether it’s from a humiliating custom/session or just every day comical life-I like to laugh. I try to keep the laughing at others expense to when I’m paid for it…(hehe)

-But I do follow this twitter page, I think it’s called “The Darwin Awards” and it’s full of people doing really stupid things. HAHAHA! Certainly makes me feel better about my level of common sense.

Since many sex workers are alienated and judged extensively (and harshly) by society I think it’s important those who work in adult remain light hear-ted as possible about our career choices. Sex, Fetish, Kink etc is all sought out essentially as a feel good experience and to keep it that way must remain positive as possible.

Not to say that some (or all) of us don’t need a dark room and a different city, state to live in sometimes to get away from society well you have to find the humor in that yourself somehow.

As for what makes me laugh I think that is a broad spectrum. TV show wise I like comedies such as Friends or The Big Bang Theory. My sense of humor ranges form very dry to sadistic. I’m forever changing really. Depending on my mood something may be funny today that is not tomorrow!

Watch out…I’m like a cat…one minute I want you to touch me the other minutes I’m leaving a scar on your hand.

Thanks for the question Jay, enjoy. (I think you and I have a date with spin the bottle custom? Let’s see how funny things can get there -wink)

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So many ways to say goodnight…

B_YWERNUYAAN82Y.jpg-largeCLgcfZXUMAAWTdPCLnddqHWoAAqTHeand so many ways for you to show Me that you are thinking of Me. Tribute and submit my beta.

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poem from a submissive

Untitled

He wanted to be allowed to cum after a session of JOI and edging instructions. I told him a tribute and a poem about Me and maybe he could. Look at that, I was sent this within 30 minutes of requesting. I love good boys. Doing things for Me, going out of your way to please Me…That impresses Me.

(click the photo to enlarge and read the poem)

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Cam Girl Tip Tuesday 4-Spreading Yourself Too Thin

One thing that being on the internet as a web cam/adult model does it provide you with this mass array of other people doing similar things to what you are through the reaches of social media and viewing them live on cam.
You start to see what so and so is doing, what time she is working, how often she posts new videos and what new site she just joined last week to peddle her wares.
You start thinking to yourself…I could do that. I could sign up there. I could make more monetary income if I had my videos on X, Y and Z sites. What if I started doing this, or that, how about… Wait.

This could be true. But you need to stop and think about your time as well. Is it worth a few extra hundred a month to make sure you have the same videos uploaded, where on another site you are making 10x’s that? To some it may be. To me it came down to the fact I was spreading myself too thin in too many areas on too many sites. Or could I just concentrate on a few things and maybe use that time I wasn’t uploading to make some more content, be live on cam or hell…relax?! Yay.

I also asked my followers before, it was quite some time ago-a year or more, if having my videos on more than one site was confusing and turned them away as they were then confused where I was, which video was where etc. And 95% said yes. Now in the end of course us women running a business should do whats best for ourselves, but we also need to listen to those who are supporting that business as well.

In the end you only know what is best for you. But if you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off (so to speak) feeling tired all the time, anxious, stressed. This person wants that from you, hey join my new site. AHHHH. That can get really hard fast and hello burn out. No one wants to feel burnt out.

In the end you need to do what you enjoy, if you are not enjoying something anymore then re evaluate what you are doing and look for ways to reinvent yourself. Take time for you. You are important. At the end of the day the balance of your bank account may be important to feed, clothe and house yourself…but it does not emulate your worth. Be worthy of knowing what is best for yourself.

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